Debrett's-style title question

[MrsBadger]

(go with me on this)

Your father is Lord Badger, Marquis of Sleasby
You are therefore born Lady Wilhelmina Badger.

You marry George Weasel, Earl of Coddingham
and therefore become Lady Coddingham
but
then he divorces you and remarries

You are obv no longer Lady Coddingham as there is a new one
but do you
a) revert to your maiden name and style (Lady Badger)
b) retain your married surname but revert to your maiden style (Lady Weasel)

answers on a postcard before this wretched party on Saturday...

I think you are still Lady Coddingham, and can style yourself thus even though you are divorced to Lord Coddingham.

Or, , would you have actually called yourself Lady Whilhelmina Coddingham throughout your married life because as a daughter of Marquis you are higher in the aristocracy food chain than an earl?

Sorry, Nigel Dempster I aint. Am sure there are some genuinely grand MNers along to help you in a minute.

Good lord. Are you really having a party with Earls and Lords?

I am no social expert, but I think surely it would like as with non-titled divorces, somewhat up to the person concerned whether she reverts to her maiden name or retains her married surname?
Divorced wives

A peeress loses her legal right to the peerage style following divorce. A convention has developed whereby her Christian name is added in front of her former title to distinguish her from subsequent wives of her husband. Hence, "Her Grace The Duchess of London" becomes "Mary, Duchess of London". She is not entitled to the use of the address "Your Grace" but again by convention, she may be addressed as "Duchess" or "Your Grace". "The Rt Hon. The Lady London" becomes "Mary, Lady London" and may be addressed as "Lady London," or "My Lady".

So according to this custom she would be Wilhemina, Lady Coddingham. But as I say, I would say it's up to her whether this is followed or whether she has reverted to her maiden name/title.

As an aside, as the daughter of a Marquis, would she not be addressed as Lady Wilhemina rather than Lady Badger anyway?

sorry - meant to add that the middle bit was C&P from wiki!

I think it would be: Wilhelmina, Countess of Coddingham (or Wilhelmina, Lady Coddingham).

If this is a genuine problem to do with place cards or similar, I would actually phone Debrett's and ask them.

I think it would go somewhat along the lines of "Diana, Princess of Wales" but I would check - in fact, is it remotely possible you could check with her? Actually don't do that - look in Debrett's/phone them.

Lady Badger, if you have any sense.

If you're going to the party don't you call her Willie anyway?

I think she'd still be Lady Coddingham though, even though there's a new one if she hasn't remarried.

But she never was Lady Badger - her mother was Lady Badger. She was Lady Whilemina Badger before she married.

Definitely Wilhelmina, Lady Coddingham unless she has let it be known that she is reverting to her maiden name, in which case Lady Wilhelmina Badger.

The one thing she will never be is Lady Badger, because the only Lady Badgers are wives of knights or baronets (Sir Stripy and Lady Badger), wives of Barons or Baronesses in their own right (Baroness Badger of Sett, aka Lady Badger), and wives of earls, viscounts and marquesses whose title (but not surname) is Badger.

Your walking etiquette service...

Yes, you are quite right - I was confused by the OP.

I think, however, that there is no golden rule here - either she retains some revised version of her married name (to avoid confusion with the new wife) or reverts to her old name, and it is somewhat up to her.

I think you should write to email her Social Secretary to check .

We get a huge variety of addresses in our family, and we are totally common-or-garden no titles. People don't know what to do with divorced

(Countess outranks daughter of marquess, btw)

Oh lol at us all.

" think it would go somewhat along the lines of "Diana, Princess of Wales" but I would check - in fact, is it remotely possible you could check with her? " - Georgimama, by that I thought you were recommending that the OP ask Princess Di

So in this scenario no one is Lady Badger? Her mother's title is Lady Sleasby? I know nothing - or rather I live surrounded by people like this but interact with them by standing in queue at the post office next to them rather than having dinner parties.

Good idea, let's have a seance. Actually there's a good example, she was technically Lady Diana Spencer after her divorce I suppose.

dh's ex has retained title (ie Lady Coddingham from example given).

she hasn't kept up the conventionfor her children though - assume therefore she has only kept the name/title to annoy dh (which it doesn't) so she possibly isn't adhering to convention...

Stick to Lady Wilhelmina. That'll be right whatever.

I agree with Metella. She would be Wilhelmina, Countess etc. (At least she would be entitled geddit to call herself that, post-divorce she might want to be rid of it all.)

She wouldn't be Lady Badger unless she'd been married to her own pa?

But there are two issues, how you refer to her on her place card (W, Countess...) and how you address her from the depths of your curtsey, so if in doubt perhaps mumble My Lady in deferential tones.

Ah, you should be like us here in Ireland and refuse to have anything to do with it all.

Can't you ring her up and ask?

O! x-post with thousands.

The Irish aristocracy still exists, VintageGardenia. Well, you can buy their titles from the back pages of Country Life, anyway.

There are a few remaining shreds all right but they are only ever addressed as Johnny or whatever and quite unfussed about it I think.

Oh sorry those ones. I think you can buy a square yard of bog in some bits of Scotland and get a dot-matrix printed cert of your accompanying Lairdship. There's a great Christmas present idea, they're only a tenner or so and would make a refreshing change from antimony-ridden hamsters...

For a child? I had thought of getting one for DH as the ultimate snob tree present but for DS would be even better.

But would you then have to kneel when proffering his fish fingers? It would be fun doing the birthday party invitations - out with the Bob the Builder rip-off sheets and in with the cream laid, gilt-edged cards. And of course he'd shoot straight to the top of the Tots Academy waiting list.