My husband and me / My husband and I

[MmeLindt]

A German friend was told by an English Professor (in Oxford, at a teaching seminar) that no British person would say, "My husband and I". According to the Professor, only the Queen would say this.

Normally, "My husband and me" would be used.

I have never heard this before. We were taught to name the other person first as it was more polite.

Could this be a regional variation?

Professor sounds traditionally mad if your friend is accurate. Is it possible as a speaker of English as a second (or third or whatever) language your friend missed something? Maybe the Prof was joking?

I'd say 'my husband and I' if necessary according to grammar and the likelihood of the person I'm speaking to knowing my husband's name.

agree with what others have said about the subject/object of the sentence.

However I think the professor may have been talking about common colloquial usage vs correct English and it is true that people often say "Me and Fred are going down the pub, wanna come?" more often that they say "Fred and I are going down the pub".

An interesting kickback of the desire to be "correct" is that when people are trying to be hyper-posh they often say "and I" where it should be "and me", eg "Would you like to come to the public house with Frederick and I?"

You notice this a lot in things like complaint letters, when people are consciously trying to formalise their language without really understanding the grammar behind it.

no-one find it amusing that in an attempt to prove my poshness I mentioned that we have pigeons in our garden?

LOL, are they not just any pigeons, but hand-reared, grain fed, plump breasted, free-range pigeons, Stealth?

I started my speech at my husband's and my wedding with "My husband and I ..."

No idea what the professor meant, but I do think that this is one small grammar rule that I can see changing soon since it is far more common for people to say 'my friend and me' etc.

Language is always evolving.

I was always taught, "My husband and I" but agree it sounds stuffy. Just can't shake my English lessons though!

Language my evolve but I can't see how the me/I thing could ever change. Adults aren't going to start saying 'me went to the shops' just because some people get confused when speaking about more than one person and say 'Rachel and me went to the shops'.

They are not just peacocks. My son and I call them "Peaky" and "Cocky". Peaky is the one with the rather wonky crest. Free range of course.

Grammar evolves a lot more slowly than semantics - I can see the apostrophe going before "my husband and I".

I'm not so sure - I think we might see "could of" and "should of" becoming acceptable usage within our lifetimes. Not in formal written language maybe, but certainly in speech and informal communications.

What a depressing thought!
No, just bog standard pigeons! The blackbirds on the other hand are a sight to behold.
"My husband and I" is fine for a wedding speech, the error is when the groom (usually) says "On behalf of my wife and I, thank you all for coming".

"My husband and I " is fine, as long as you are the bride, or it's a gay ceremony of course. Otherwise it's a huge faux pas!

I'm not sure, tyv - would be interesting to ask the OED people, but I suspect "of" would have to develop as a verb in a wider variety of contexts in order to become a recognised usage, iyswim, as grammatically it's unsound as it stands.

Edam
I am sure that my friend did not pick it up wrong, she speaks excellent English and has been working as an English teacher for many years.

Perhaps I found it so strange, as I would never use "me and James are going to the pub". I am obviously and old-fashioned fuddyduddy.

I did not even notice the pigeons/peacock mistake, Stealth. Are they very noisy? My cousin's neighbour had peacocks and they were very annoying.

It was a one off when they were in here, and I wasn't even here - DH told me about it! I just like to give the impression they are regular visitors
Can hear them up at the farm when we're outside though but I like their noise.

just returning to this to say at this week's Guardian Weekend:

Weekend: Which living person do you most admire and why?
Fern Britton: My mum. She brought my sister and I up as a single parent.

(although very nice that you like your mum, Fern)