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Pedants' corner
Original poster

My husband and I....

20 replies

TinselBaublesMistletoe · 09/12/2008 13:20

I think I'm in a pedantic mood today!

One of my many pet hates, I think people think it sounds better to say "I" instead of "me" or they think "I" has to be wrong and it's "me". If your husband wasn't there, would it be "me" or "I"? How's that hard?

OP posts:
skidoodle · 09/12/2008 13:21

Sorry, what are you trying to say here?

whoingodsnameami · 09/12/2008 13:25

I would say " me and my husband" being well aware it is'nt correct, but "my husband and I just does'nt sit comfortably with me.........probably because I am common

StealthPolarBear · 09/12/2008 13:26

ooh there are loads of threads about this. Another MNer and me was talking about it the other day

Jackstini · 09/12/2008 13:28

Depends on the sentance and how it would sound without the husband part.
e.g. Would you like to come out with my husband & me? (as if you remove 'my husband &' it is still correct)
My husband and I would like you to come round for dinner (again, remove the 'my husband and' & it would still be correct)
Hope that makes sense!

cestlavie · 09/12/2008 13:29

Is this not simply a case of using the appropriate subjective or objective pronoun?

"My husband and I went to the party/ I went to the party". You are the subject of the sentence.

"The car drove into me and my husband/ the car drove into me". You are the object of the sentence.

Original poster
TinselBaublesMistletoe · 09/12/2008 13:31

Depending on what the sentence is depends on what you say "me and my husband" or "my husband and I" (picking on the husband because it's someones famous catchphrase).

"X gave my husband and I a present"

"Me and my husband went to a party"

Without my husband it would be:

"X gave I a present"

"Me went to a party"

I always hear both when I hear someone talk or read both when it's written, so it winds me up.

whoingodsnameami I think that The Queen has made it sound very posh and whenever someone says "My husband and I" even in the correct context it feels weird.

OP posts:
beanieb · 09/12/2008 13:31

I know what the op means.

'and I' is correct, but only in certain circumstances.

ie.. my sister and I went to the shop is corect.

'It was my sister and I who went to the shops' is not.

Original poster
TinselBaublesMistletoe · 09/12/2008 13:33

X-posted, neatly getting the same example

OP posts:
stillstanding · 09/12/2008 13:36

There was an article recently where Prince Charles did this. Apparently very common mistake but very annoying. And hardly difficult to get right.

(Tinsel, presumably the Queen says my husband and we? )

beanieb · 09/12/2008 13:43

Watch Neighbours. They do it all the time. Maybe it's and Australian thing but they never seem to use 'and me' only 'and I' whatever the circumstance!

RamblingRosa · 09/12/2008 14:20

They do get it wrong a lot on Aussie soaps don't they?

I think cestlavie explains it best as it's a question of whether you're the subject or object in a sentence.

I think the reason why you hear things like "between you and I", is that people hyper-correct. That is, they vaguely remember being told off for saying things like "me and my brother went to the shops" when they were at school so it sticks in their heads that "me" is somehow wrong or common and that "I" sounds better, without understanding the context.

Sorry for being long-winded

beanieb · 09/12/2008 14:28

With you on the hyper-correcting thing. Perhaps it's because teachers drum the 'and I' think into kids but without ever explaining why or how to use it, though mine did explain.

Original poster
TinselBaublesMistletoe · 09/12/2008 14:44

I agree with the hyper-correcting, it's what I was trying to get at earlier. I remember one of the Test the Nation quizs once had a set of questions on this and the first one they gave the answer to they said "Cover up the other person" so even without understanding subject and object, it's an easy one to check you have right.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkeyNuts · 09/12/2008 14:54

I don't say "my husband and I" as I'm not married. I say "me and me bloke."

beanieb · 09/12/2008 15:04

but in what context do you say it ?

not all the time surely?

PuppyMonkeyNuts · 09/12/2008 15:08

Who me, beanie? I say it whenever I get the urge... which is quite often.

Original poster
TinselBaublesMistletoe · 09/12/2008 15:54

LOL puppy, I was just picking on HRH, I'm not married either so I don't say it and I have to tell people who talk about my OH's "wife" that that is someone else [hwink] His secretary is forever saying "Your wife's here" to which I reply "You'll scare him if you tell him that!"

OP posts:
campion · 09/12/2008 18:05

Ian Hislop got this wrong on Have I Got News For You the other night. OH nearly fainted. I think he'd thought IH had had an education or something.
To make matters worse he did it twice!

CatWithKittens · 10/12/2008 10:24

Beanieb I hate to be pendatic, especailly on this forum, but I do not agree that "It was my sister and I who went to the shops." is incorrect. The verb "to be" notoriously takes a complement, so to say "it ws he" or "It was I" is actually correct, though often not done. See the famous line in "The Jackdaw of Rheims": "...regardless of grammar, cried 'That's him.'."

beanieb · 11/12/2008 13:32

fair enough - I guess that 'it was I who went to the shops' is acceptable. Bad example on my part.

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