Yourself, myself - it's not rocket science

[Habbibu]

Some moons ago, I was engaged in a protracted debate with TalkTalk. This finally came to an end with a message on my answering machine where a very officious woman admitted they'd stuffed up. My joy was marred, however, by her persistent use of phrases such as "our service to yourself" "we have credited yourself" etc etc.

I hear it all the time - the really quite fab junior rally driver interviewed on PM the other night. Lovely chap, but the misuse of reflexive pronouns made my teeth itch.

Why do people do this? My only thought is that it's somehow seen as a more formal form, somehow, and that it's some weird hyper-correction. Anyone have any other ideas?

Oh joy, someone else who shares my irritation with the fear so many people have of using the word 'me'.

I've just had a letter inviting me to a job interview "with John Smith and myself". What if they expect me to avoid the use of the word 'me' too?!

Erk - how vile. I'm sure it stems from the whole I/me confusion - people are, as you say, scared to use "me" at all, and then it gets all tangled up and vile constructions emerge.

I think you're right about the hyper-correction thing. "Between you and I" is another one you hear quite often.

Daisy - every time I see your name I think of men in dark glasses, saying "So, Mizzz Steineeerrrr". Makes me laugh.

I had a very long letter from my bank which was full of 'yourself' and 'myself' as in,

Dear SuperBunny

Thank you for the letter from yourself... I, myself, have credited your account and apologise for the inconvenience to yourself.

If you have any questions, please contact myself.

Yours Sincerely

A bank that makes lots of mistakes and writes apology letters that are total nonsense.

Argh.

Yes, this pisses me off too. Totally irrationally.

Nice to find there are people who share my pain. This 'myself/yourself' thing makes my teeth itch. I imagine the people who do it think it's somehow polite.

Ew, sb - I do hope you corrected it and sent it back.

I have just found pendants' corner - what a delight!! I'm not quite so advanced in pedantry as yourselves but am loving your dedication. The yourself/myself is horrendous - I was in a bank recently and invited to "follow myself this way" which made me laugh out loud.

"follow myself this way" Oh, cousinsandra, I do hope you chased your own tail in confusion. How vile.

I did want to ask for clarification, but just laughed instead - I agree it seems to come from an attempt to be EXTRA polite and formal.

Policemen are often guilty of this crime.

I think I quite like it. It suggests an extraordinary degree of reticence, as if the speaker is too shy or unsure of the relationship in question to use the more direct "you" or "me" for fear of seeming too forward. It says a lot about our national character.

Habbibu, I really wanted to.

cant bear it either - I believe it is some sort of American marketing training thing, to reinforce to you that it is you yourself that they are doing this for. Or so I was told by some marketing bod.

Thumbwitch, I'd have thought that too but I have never seen or heard it in the US. Well once, actually. But it isn't commonplace.

dunno where said marketing bod got that from then!
It is potty and very annoying and always puts my back up, thereby failing to achieve its objective to draw me in.

"Allow myself to introduce myself".

I think you're right about it coming , at least partly, from the I / me confusion.Pity me then, having to read our staff noticeboard -' please have a word with Morticia and I about...' which crops up depressingly often ( depressing because they're teachers). Myself is also slotted in pretty regularly.

In fact, I feel I'm on a one woman crusade these days correcting this (the I/me thing) in my pupils and patiently explaining it to them. But I've less patience with anyone who's had an education and does it.

Trouble is, I can't tell off my colleagues!

Oh, I hate when teachers do stuff like that. I know we all make mistakes but not getting things like this right is not on really. When I was teaching, my colleagues frequently wrote 'should of'

Whenever I was teaching contractions and should've, I always said VERY loudly, "It is NEVER should of. Ever." in the hope that my co-teachers would hear and take the hint.

gag! no thumbwitch. deffo not american. never encountered it till i came to the UK. americans still do grammar in school.

i used to read tons of letters with this error in a previous job coming from all over the great british public.

I don't think I do the yourself/myself - but I do get terribly confused over the I/me

Remove the other person from the sentence. If it was just about you, to use the example below, would you say 'from me' or 'from I'? The first, of course, so it's 'from Theresa and me'.

This is a good explanation of when to use 'myself'. I think it's particularly prevalent in sales/marketing/customer service because people think that it makes them sound more professional, and more respectful towards customers.

What makes me really cross about this whole myself/yourself lunacy, is that there are probably people who hear me using 'me' and 'you' and think that I'm wrong and use poor grammar!

I've come across some shocking cases of 'ourselves and 'themselves'.

Right, off to do some bogling to Aswad.

"It suggests an extraordinary degree of reticence, as if the speaker is too shy or unsure of the relationship in question to use the more direct "you" or "me" for fear of seeming too forward. It says a lot about our national character." Nah, Iorek. Would that it were the reason, but it's not charmingly shy people who do it. TalkTalk lady was most certainly not. She's lucky she just got the answering machine.

This is myself's answerphone msg: "You have reached Swedes' answerphone. If you'd like to leave a msg for myself please do. Alternatively, please feel free to hang yourself up."

Can I please let you all know that I loathe the phrase "it's not rocket science"? Actaully much much more than I loathe the misuse of reflexive pronouns.