Struggled to stifle a giggle at this one.......

[MadreInglese]

I have a colleague who is frequently using the wrong words when trying to sound clever, today she came out with this corker on the phone -

"Well I wouldn't be too keen to do that really, in case it sets a president for future situations like this"

Did you Barack her about it?

but if it was on the phone, could she not have just said precedent? Precedent and president - hard to distinguish over phone?

No, it was very clearly pronounced "Prezz Eeee Dent"

I used to work with someone who used to say, sniffily, that she wasn't 'prithee' to things. And I wanted to correct her, but really couldn't.

Is she hard of hearing? I am and have been since a child. I have recently found out some words I use are not actually words, just how I thought I have heard them blush

Hmmm. Oh dear.
My mil used to use the wrong word, or misprnounce some - if she saw something nasty it made her 'reach' instead of retch, she used to go to the thee-etter and dh still now says moustoche, and won't believe me that it's moustache

I know a few 'moustoche'-ers too. Sounds very strange to me.

I hate heart-rendering

I hate 'mischevious' - it's not even spelt (spelled?) like that!

overheard on a bus once, 2 little old ladies talking

"my granddaughter went to see that dinosaur film with her boyfriend, eeeee, what's it called?"

friend replies in knowing manner "geriatric park"

no kidding!!

My mum says "Pacific" when she means "specific"

two that really get me "i'm really guttered that i can't come" as in gutted and "i'm so wrapped for you" as in rapt. don't people think about the origins of their words as in gutted -like guts and rapt as in rapture? urgh! yes pacific is a good one too!

Achually the posh way of pronouncing moustache is mustoche I'm afraid ... so that is more a pretension than a mispronunciation

Twiglett, Really? Really? You Bobby Moore? my in laws ain't posh. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. nice to know tho. still training dh out of it

I was telling my friend about my mums epilepsy once and said "My mum has leprosy...."

I carried on for a few more moment and realsied what I said. We both cried with laughter...

My Dad calls sellotape seal-o-tape. His (faultless) logic is that its primary characteristic is its ability to seal things and not that its made of cellophane.

I have a friend who says chimley (chimney) and renember (remember). It's very difficult to not keep correcting her. Have heard the pacific/specific one before too

I just want to stangle people who are suspicious of something and say they are weary! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ah that feels better.

The elderly lady who used to babysit for me and my DB when we were children was full of them - she had a pair of 'paranoid sunglasses', and after years and years of calling my parents by their names (Audrey and Ewen) she one day decided that they were 'Auldrey' and 'Hewin', and addressed all Christmas cards accordingly from that point on.

Lol at 'paranoid sunglasses'!

MIL is great for these. She once told me she was on the 'HMV' when she meant (I think?) HRT.

Her best moment was unfortunate rather than a word mix up. We were watching an England match a few years ago when she said, 'Ooh, I do like Seaman.' referring of course to the ex-England goalie.

Had to leave the room.

MIL asked if we were having incest at our wedding when she found out I was Catholic....

She recently needed a new "sin" card for her phone...

The old lady who lived next to us as a child always used to say "pisser" for pizza.