Stop saying sorry when you mean excuse me!

[AndreaMarvell]

These examples are only from yesterday and today. Why do so many people do this?

Sorry can I pass you please?
Sorry I just need to get the milk (at a break at a conference yesterday)
Sorry I need to open the door
Sorry I need to ask you a question
Sorry I need to get off the bus

Nobody had upset or inconvenienced anyone so they had nothing to be sorry about! When did this start? I have only noticed it in the last two or three years.

Just stop it! It's becoming the new "Can I get?"

I notice it too and always think 'why are you apologising'? I simply say 'excuse me please', which is quite sufficient.

Thanks I was thinking I was going nuts. I just went to a public toilet in the university. In this one there is only one cubicle and as I came out another woman followed me in and another one was waiting. I'd not used this toilet before, and there were two doors, and I couldn't remember which was the one to exit. This woman said sorry to me twice as I tried to find my way out!

They are appologising, for inconveniencing you...

I agree with you op.
I commute and encounter this virtually daily.
If someone in the near vicinity, possibly even behind me says "sorry", I have no idea what they mean ( did they bump into someone behind me and are apologising to them? Are they talking to someone on their Bluetooth earphones) or even if they are addressing me.

If they replaced that with "excuse me" it becomes obvious that they want someone (me?) to move to let them past.

I usually say, move.

But they're not inconveniencing me by going about their normal activities!

If they've had to say excuse me, in whatever way they've chosen, they've had to ask you to move.

Nobody asked me to move. Or said excuse me. They said sorry, when they hadn't done anything to be sorry for. It seemed this woman was sorry that I didn't know which door to use. It shows it is overused, seriously.

It has its place, especially when people are being inconsiderate and don't move aside, especially if they know you want to get past.

Yes, this. Excuse me can sound rude, and people do it intentionally. I prefer sorry as there is no confusion on how it's meant to be taken!

There is confusion as I'd wonder what they're apologising for. Excuse me please isn't rude at all!

in my other culture it is and always has (as long as I can remember) been used as “excuse me” you say “sorry now” or “sorry there”
lots of people from that culture in the UK, very murky waters to go saying they’re wrong. you could just not say it if you don’t like it @AndreaMarvell?

I don't say it, because I don't think it's logical. My point was, many others do!

That makes no sense. Why on earth was the women saying sorry because you couldn't work out which door to use?

It's not the same thing at all as saying sorry in order to get past someone.

Yeah it's very British isn't it. I do think it's kind of interchangable in certain circumstances, as in 'sorry to ask you to slightly move'. It's only because it's usually something that mildly inconveniences the other person. You'd never say sorry to someone when offering them a present or a prize?

But what do you want to be excused for? To be excused is to have your blame lessened or to be released from a requirement. If you think you’re not to blame for anything why are you asking to be excused?

I would use excuse me if I was asking someone to move or asking them for something. I’d say sorry if I was going to do that thing anyway (eg I just pushed through a crowd at the train station and said sorry as I jostled past someone. If I had said excuse me I would then have patiently waited for them to move - but I wasn’t asking them for anything, nor do I care if they “excused” me of accepted my apology, I just wanted to make my jostling more polite).

But excuse me would’ve been weirder to say in this scenario?

Maybe she felt sorry for you because you took so long to find your way out of a bathroom she had time to apologise twice…

Because I think she thought she was in my way. She wasn't at all.

Aren't you the comedian?

@pigsDOfly , one adult human is a woman.

OK OP
(Sorry)

Yes, I'm fully aware of that, but thank you for your prompt input.

It was a typo, not a SPAG error.

I thought it might be @pigsDOfly , but it is Pedants' corner.

I always thought the use of sorry in this context was a way of grabbing their attention, rather than using pardon. If I'm on a bus and the person seated beside me hasn't noticed that I want to get up I would normally say "Sorry pause (get their attention), I'm getting off here, thank you". So it's not an apology for what you're doing, more of a pardon/hello/excuse me all rolled into one.
I find this more polite than just "excuse me".

@Pedant5corner Which is why I normally read everything twice before I post in this particular corner of MN. I didn't do so for that post, unfortunately. It's a hard lesson learned😱