Empathy v Sympathy

[IdealisticCynic]

Just want to know if others find the misuse of empathy, when people more often mean sympathy, annoying?

Drives me bonkers!

Did I hear someone on the radio, yesterday, say that he had empathy and sympathy for some person or people? I remember just thinking that they aren't the same thing. He might have had both but I understand what you're saying.
(Any Questions/Any Answers)?

How would you differentiate then? Is sympathy understanding someone feels a certain way and comforting them, and empathy feeling the feeling too?

Empathy is when you have experienced it for yourself (or so I was taught).

Sympathy: understanding someone’s pain ‘I feel for you’ or ‘I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through…’

Empathy: feeling someone’s pain as if it’s your own ‘I feel with you’ or ‘I understand what you’re going through’

Glad I’m not alone! Which is ironic because it means you empathise with me…

I love this video from Beene brown to remind of the differences: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KZBTYViDPlQ

Sympathy is recognising that someone is going through something difficult, and feeling pity or sorrow for them. "That sounds tough....", "I'm sorry for your loss", etc.

Empathy is feeling with them, and understanding, perhaps because you have felt similar things yourself. Empathy is deeper than sympathy. With empathy, you have true understanding. You don't necessarily have to have lived the exact thing they are going through, but it means that you understand how they feel and are walking with them.

I enjoyed that. Thank you.

I remember going to a talk, which they were of the opinion empathy was selfish, you are inserting yourself by feeling what they feel, whilst not knowing them, that sympathy was condescending, you're almost looking down on someone, and compassion was the 'best' option. I've always kinda resonated with that, and never been a fan of empathy as even before that talk years ago, I always saw it as the most selfish of the three.

My impression is the terms are abused and a new one is needed. "Sensitive" as in sensitive to the needs and feelings of others was used as a self-descriptor my people who were merely touchy and sensitive to their own feelings.
So, it was replaced by empathy, but that is already abused. When people say they are an empath, I see it as a red flag for someone who is merely touchy and sensitive to their own feelings.
We can replace is with "compassion", but the same people will abuse that term.
I have been in therapy where we split it into "relationship empathy" and "friend empathy". The former being a measure of her feelings and appreciation that her feelings are reality, and friend empathy which is the more original definition.