My feed

to access all these features

Pedants' corner

Quick, PEDANTS I NEED you... fast.. (please)

15 replies

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/03/2008 14:56

Writing an ad/letter for someone to inform his new/existing customers that his small buisness has taken over the business of another local reputable company, the owner of which has emigrated.

SO far have writen (name changed obv!)..

Joe Blogs Cleaners, your local specialised service (....) have/has (?) pleaure in informing you that it/we (?) have/has (?) taken over the business of John Doe Cleaners... etc

What should those words be?? (Where the /s and the ?s are) please...

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/03/2008 15:00

Please? Can only spend another few mins on this before I take kids to compete in swimming gala and got to email it off....

OP posts:
Upsidedowncake · 15/03/2008 15:05

Here at JB cleaners we have always prided ourselves on our ...

We have great pleasure in informing you that we have taken over the business of John Doe cleaners and look forward to serving you in the future

'We' soudns friendlier and goes better with 'you'. But the suggestion I have made should clear up the 'we' a little bit

Mouselady · 15/03/2008 15:07

I don't usually venture onto these theads, but I wonder if you should go with takes pleasure, we have - on the basis that Joe Blogs Cleaners is plural.
I'm running away now before the big guns come back.

Mouselady · 15/03/2008 15:08

Now they'll all run me down for missing out the 'r' in threads. Whoosh, I'm gone.

RosaIsRed · 15/03/2008 15:09

Formal business speech would mean it/has as companies are singular, but if it is for an ad aimed at customers 'we' would probably sound friendlier so:
Joe Blogs Cleaners, your local specialised service (....) have pleaure in informing you that we have taken over the business of John Doe Cleaners... etc.
But the it/has would be more grammatically correct.

Cappuccino · 15/03/2008 15:12

yes am with Rosa

it should be Joe Blogs Cleaners has pleasure in informing you that it has take over the business of John Doe Cleaners

but Joe Blogs Cleaners has pleasure in infomring you that we have have taken over the business is more friendly

or you could do something different altogether - Joe Bloggs Cleaners is a friendly and professional company of cleaners which has been serving customers for XX years. We are pleased to announce that we will be taking over the business of John Doe cleaners and look forward to providing our new customers with our quality service

the former one sounds a bit too formal imo, if it is for mailout to amed customers

Cappuccino · 15/03/2008 15:13

aimed customers, not amed

not armed either

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/03/2008 15:15

Oh great input.. thanks!

What does this sounds like?

Dear Valued Customers (new and existing)

"Joes Bloggs Cleaning, your local specialized service for the cleaning of all carpets, rugs and upholstery, have great pleasure in informing you that we have taken over the services of John Doe Cleaning due to the retirement of its owner John Doe.

Specialized Cleaning is a thriving [inset town] based company which owes its success primarily to personal recommendation and we would be thrilled to offer you a quote for all/any of your specialized cleaning requirements.

Please call 0800 000000 for a quotation"

Now I am all confused as to whether it should be "it's" success.. or "our" success..

Damn my mother for offer my (unpaid) services as a blurb creator...

OP posts:
RosaIsRed · 15/03/2008 15:15

You don' want to be too friendly with the armed customers Capp.

RosaIsRed · 15/03/2008 15:16

Full stop after company and then We owe our success..?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/03/2008 15:19

Ooh.. now I like your alternative Capp... might email him that too (and take the credit obviously )

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 15/03/2008 15:19

oh but I am uncomfy now

I take back what I said about have

it should be has/ it

I can't say it is okay I can't, my inner pedant is screaming

Cappuccino · 15/03/2008 15:20

oh yes Shiny do that I will sleep better

tell him it is good after all this is my job (though for arts events, not cleaning companies)

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/03/2008 15:30

Thanks Capp. I would give you credit, but alas I doubt he'll have heard of a "Mumsnetter named Cappucino" or indeed know what one is!

OP posts:
Mouselady · 15/03/2008 16:06

The point on formal business address is valid. In formal business address one would always expect Ltd or Inc after the business name, which in use allows 'has' to run off the tongue much more naturally. However, Joe Blogs Cleaners implies a group of people, well, cleaning, so 'have' falls into play. 'Tis hard to combine formal and informal and is usually a great mistake.
But I do prefer the formal 'take/s great pleasure' to the informal 'has/have pleasure.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.