I've been making a list...

[DonateBloodNCheckSmokeAlarms]

Hello

Only just found this part of Mumsnet!

Here is a list I have been compiling for a while for my own personal amusement/therapy.

Comments welcome!

APOSTROPHE ERRORS
It’s/Its
Who’s/whose
I hate Tory’s (greengrocer’s apostrophe)
Baby’s/babies (that’s my babies dummy)
Nobodies/nobody’s (nobodies business) (anybody’s, somebody’s)
Families instead of family’s
Parent’s instead of parents’
Ladies instead of lady’s
No apostrophe in "clients" so no telling whether singular or plural

SPELLING MISTAKES
Affect/effect
Bear/Bare
Alot (as one word)
Aswell (as one word)
Phased/fazed
Principal/principle
Practice/practise
Stationary/stationery (e for envelope)
Drivers license/driving licence
Should of, would of, could of/should have, would have, could have
Ect/etc
Draw for “drawer” (chester draws)
Off/of
Loose/lose
Queue/cue
Peak/pique

GRAMMATICAL ERRORS
Seen/saw
Went/gone
Done/did
Ran/run
Rang/rung
Gave/given
Came/come
Sat/sitting
Stood/Standing
Lay/lie (eg I’m having a lay-in)
Gotten/got or become
That/who (the people that…)
There’s many / “there are” many
Myself/me eg “please let myself know”
Her/she eg “her and David were able to stay”
Verbs used as nouns eg “invite” “quote”

GENERAL IGNORANCE
Decimated used wrongly (it means reduced by 10% not "destroyed")
Literally used wrongly (eg "I literally exploded")
Imply/infer
Brought/bought
Adverse/averse

PRONOUNCIATION
People who go up at the end of the sentence?
Somefink
Aks instead of ask
Not pronouncing “r” eg “fowad” instead of “forward”
Pacific
Haitch

IRRITATING WORDS OR PHRASES
Reach out
Reader, (I married him)
My lovely mum etc
…, no?
So….
….Discuss.
Look…, (sounds aggressive but Australians do it)
Listen…, (ditto)
Gifted (instead of given)
Loaned instead of lent
(name) from Accounts
Can I get…? (in restaurants etc)
People who use your name repeatedly in sentences and say “yourself” in order to endear themselves to you

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

🤦‍♀️

@Anotherdayanotherdisappointment ooh, my teachers said that too. Do you also say "the bell is for me, not for you"?

@Dotcheck shall I sing a few verses of "Blame Canada" from South Park instead? :-D

PS I'm Scottish, as I said upthread, if you want to slag me off for anything! Fair's fair!

Can I add 'free reign' to your list?

It's a horse riding metaphor. The rider lets go of the reins . Absolutely nothing to do with random monarchies.

No bells in my school so you they don't get to hear me say that!

It's the 'go toilet' instead of TO THE toilet that really grinds though. They 'may' is just bonus pedantry.

I had a DT teacher at school who would always reply "you can...but you may not" if we didn't ask "May I...?".

This drives me mad too, but I think it's regional. I never noticed it when I lived in the south. I hate it when I hear ' the kids need fed' or in a shop 'anyone needs served?'. Makes me wince.

"Need fed"

Is this like on gumtree/fb marketplace when it says "needs gone"?

Haven't read the full thread so someone may have already replied.

As I understand it 'can I get' would mean you are doing the 'getting', when if you're being served in a cafe it will be the waiter 'getting' your coffee.

Oh, and, the difference between "fast" (adjective) and "quickly" (adverb) seems to have almost completely been forgotten. Things like "I can walk really fast" seem to be acceptable.

Fast is also an adverb.

That's a comprehensive list, and most of them annoy me too, but I don't understand the hatred of "can I get...". I'm slightly surprised it's on your list OP given you said you're Scottish as, no matter what kind of group I've been in a restaurant with, a good proportion will order in this way. Maybe a Glasgow thing?

When used in our house, 'can I get' is always met with 'I don't know, can you?' My DH is the worst culprit but I allow him some leeway as he is Australian!

Personally ect for etc pisses me off no end (along with many other examples listed above).

Regarding whether it matters, well, yes it does. I quite often give up reading opening posts on Mumsnet because I can't follow the poor grammar. Or have to reread things several times to understand.

I'm known for my apostrophe obsession too!

@houseofgods I wouldn't know, I avoid Weegieland like the plague!

Loving this thread, OP! Agree with all of them :) “Needs gone” infuriates me. It’s an inanimate object - it has neither desires nor needs. The poster “needs” to learn grammar!

I suggest the following for your list:
1/ “Roofless”instead of “ruthless”
2/ Random capitalisation in sentences. (There is No Need to do this 😊)

Much instead of many.

"There's too much people in here" No, No, NO! There are too many people.

Whether you say 'Sally and I' or 'Sally and me' depends upon whether Sally and I are the subjects or the objects of the sentence, nothing whatever to do with being considered old-fashioned. It's just plain lack of teaching and learning correct grammar. Shiny is right. I think the rot set in about 1958.

...and 'there are' being condensed to the lazy, new, very prevalent, there's', because people are too idle to make their mouth muscles say 'there are'.

Yep, the grammar needs learnt ;)

@Stayathomenamechange
😂😂

Seen on another thread:

"I'd like to hear his ex-wives take on this".

(There appears to be only one ex-wife).

If there were 3 ex-wives would it be, "I'd like to hear his ex-wives' takes on this."?

It's not wrong. It's just less formal.

No. One of the standard dictionary definitions of "get" is "to come to have; receive."

@upinaballoon Exactly.

So "ex-wives take".
It's wrong however many ex-wives he has as there should be an apostrophe somewhere.

But in this instance it should be "ex-wife's take" rather than "ex-wives' take". So it's even worse as there is a spelling mistake as well as a missing apostrophe.

Another one:
"PIN number"