Dominant woman

[FortVictoria]

Wise Mumsnetters - not sure if this post should be here or on the Feminist board. But trying here first as it is more of an English question. I am trying to find the female equivalent of “alpha”. As far as I can see, there is no word in English for a dominant woman that is not sexualised or an insult. Can anyone help?

[HirplesWithHaggis]

I think "alpha" can apply to either sex.

[ShagMeRiggins]

What’s wrong with alpha female?

[Orgasmagorical]

Would matriarch work?

[TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder]

Alpha female is certainly correct. Also in the animal kingdom - my dd works with lemurs, the groups are led by alpha females.

[FortVictoria]

@ShagMeRiggins (love the name!) - nothing is wrong with it. But people mostly don’t say “alpha male” - they say “alpha” and it’s just assumed that it is a male. I’m looking for a similar word for female that doesn’t require “female” to be tagged on the end, IYSWIM?

[FortVictoria]

You’re all correct - alpha can apply to both sexes - but when used alone it is usually considered to be male. Wiki says this:
“Alpha male and beta male, or simply alpha and beta, are pseudoscientific slang terms for men derived from the designation for alpha and beta animals in ethology.”

[FortVictoria]

@Orgasmagorical

Would matriarch work?

Love your name too!!

This might work. I had assumed “matriarch” must include motherhood, but it seems not.

It is so sad that most words for strong or assertive woman are also insults. And don’t get me started on the sexualisation of “dominant woman”!!

[Lyonic]

[quote FortVictoria]@ShagMeRiggins (love the name!) - nothing is wrong with it. But people mostly don’t say “alpha male” - they say “alpha” and it’s just assumed that it is a male. I’m looking for a similar word for female that doesn’t require “female” to be tagged on the end, IYSWIM?[/quote]
Countess, i always liked it.

Empress!

[Orgasmagorical]

You’re all correct - alpha can apply to both sexes - but when used alone it is usually considered to be male

It was ever thus.

[iklboo]

It's usually Queen Bee on here.

[unnumber]

Matriarch has connotations of age and tribe / family, though. You wouldn't describe a bright young leader at work (for example) as a matriarch, or an "alpha" in a group of friends. I think there's no such word really. Queen Bee would feel closest to alpha male to me but it's not respectful.

[GoldenBlue]

@iklboo

It's usually Queen Bee on here.

I think queen bee is normally a negative rather than positive phrase.

I've never heard alpha used without a sex reference though. Always alpha male or alpha female.

The only time I've heard alpha used without sex is to relate to a church based course on a billboard.

Alpha female is my preferred term

[FortVictoria]

Thanks, all. It is for an essay on Lady Macbeth.

[Ijustreallywantacat]

I don't think there is one that's specifically female. Unless you're talking about kink stuff then it's 'Domme'.

[iklboo]

That's true - Queen Bee is generally used as a sly dig isn't it?

Although it's not English, doyenne is 'accepted' in English (if that makes any sense).

[unnumber]

Definitely wouldn't call Lady Macbeth a matriarch - that implies a much wider power base and influence than just over one man. I think you'd just have to describe her as taking the lead, as the dominant party in the marriage etc.

[ShagMeRiggins]

It’s possible Lady MacBeth could be described as the alpha in that relationship. (no sex descriptor required, no negative connotations).

The reader of the essay should (one hopes) know you’re speaking of power and influence and possibly capability, not of sexualisation nor insult.