There is no such word as...

[rageymcrageface]

alot
afew
abit

Where in God's name has this all come from? It's so rife on these boards. So many times I've been reading a perfectly reasonable, eloquent post, only to come across one of these "words". I actually fear they will become recognised words and end up in the Oxford Dictionary, just like "selfie". There's probably more that I've forgotten.

I don't claim to be a grammar expert, but these literally aren't even words! I knew I'd be slaughtered if I posted anywhere else about it, so here I am. Does it infuriate anyone also beyond belief? I can't articulate how it makes me feel!

I'm glad it's not just me. It can't even be explained away as a typo.

And 'thankyou', too! The thing is that it shows up as a spelling error - THAT IS THE CLUE!

Yep pisses me off alot

Just remembered someone I have on Facebook who always posts where she's "offtoo"

I’ve never seen afew or abit but I genuinely thought alot was a word until fairly recently when someone told me it isn’t
I’ve no idea where I got it from, I’m pretty sure I was taught it was at some point
And I did English Language up to A Levels

This will help you alot:

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1

That's a work of genius

Thank you @Fezzik! That is exactly what I needed

@FuckyDuzz I've seen "abit" at least twice on here in the last half hour!

I think alot confusion comes from alright - the 'al' bit.

Can I add Restbite to the list.

Rediculus

@butlerswharf Yes! I saw that on here a couple of days ago. Someone being perfectly decent, and kind, and giving advice. But also making up words!

Off instead of "of"
"Can I have a bag off apples"

Angle instead angel always makes me laugh

Oh and anal instead of and all

Anal is anew one on me!

anew one eh ragey

Anal "and all" seems to be an Irish thing but I've seen it on a few uk sites recently
I just can't take a person seriously if they type/write crap like that

Earlier I saw "persue".

It could have either persuade or peruse, from context (now I can't find it of course!).

I know about alot not being a word as in primary school I had 100 lines once which said "A lot, not alot" and I had to do them twice because I missed out the comma! 10 year olds these days don't know how easy they have it!

*Sorry, peruse or pursue. Not sure where persuade came from

I think alot confusion comes from alright - the 'al' bit.

But alright isn't right either. It's all right.

Discusting, fumming, draws(drawers)

'Brought' instead of 'bought'

I hate when people say 'generally ' instead of 'genuinely'. For example' ' i generally had no idea there was no such word as alot' instead of 'i genuinely had no idea there was no such word as alot'.

'Alright' is fine. Completely acceptable.

'Discusting', 'fumming' (and 'rediculous', come to that) are all used ironically on mumsnet, surely?

I kind of understand discusting
The g sounds like a c..
My 9 year old dd thought probably was spelt probaly as that is how she hears it pronounced

I've tried and tried, but I can't make disgusting sound like discusting, but I used to know someone who went to a VERY prestigious private school, she was educated to Masters level and ALWAYS wrote alot