Is it sandy in your cutlery drawer?!?!

[TotalConfucius]

Because it's dessert.
It's not effing desert.
A desert fork is a folding thing you take from your rucksack when camping in the Kalahari.

You're eating your fruit salad with a fucking dessert spoon.

Oh, bugger them, I'm going for a shower.

yes....

though she sometimes lives in the crockery cupboard...

and it is Sandy, not sandy
names should have capitals
wanders away muttering...

No, Sandy lives in the cutelry draw.

Not all deserts are sandy. pedantic missing the point

Is she in the chester draws?

No she's in the walldrobe.
I feel better now having stormed the house ripping down Xmas decs. (Yes I bloody did adjust the autocorrect to dispose of decks.)
It was such a nice helpful thread to the OP I did not wish to intrude with my grumpy old trout-ness.

Many thanks.

No it's the wardrope

Which drawer do you pacifically mean?

I've been watching Kath n Kim on YouTube and their malapropisms are excellent.
"You coming for a cup of chino Kel?"

Sandy is in the bathroom of my caravan. She's happy enough there during the winter months.

Her chums, the Oddments, live in our cutlery draw.