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Pedants' corner
Original poster

Me and Dave, Dave and Me, or Dave and I?

35 replies

SlinkyB · 07/04/2015 22:33

Please can someone tell me which example I use when?

Some friends caption photos on fb with "Dave and I", but I thought that was incorrect for some reason? I always think it looks too posh for common-as-muck little ol' me, so never use it anyway!

Does anyone have a quick and easy way to remember, pretty please? I'm such a novice with grammar so be gentle Smile

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 07/04/2015 22:36

Take out Dave and see How it looks. "This is Dave and I" becomes "this is I". Which is wrong. "Here are Dave and I on the beach" becomes " here I am on the beach".

Purpleball · 07/04/2015 22:37

Remove Dave from the sentence and you get your answer.

Can you get me a drink = can you get Dave and me a drink

Is there room for me = is there room for Dave and me

I like chips = Dave and I like chips

DaphneMoonCrane · 07/04/2015 22:38

Easiest way is to take the other person out of the equation.

Here's a photo of (Dave and) me. (You wouldn't say 'a photo of I'.)

But

(Dave and) I went to the shops. (You wouldn't say 'Me went to the shops'.)

LineRunner · 07/04/2015 22:38

Dave and I screwed over the country, said Gideon.

Gideon said, the country has been screwed over by Dave and me.

Subject, object. Take Dave out please take Dave out and it might be easier to see.

DaphneMoonCrane · 07/04/2015 22:39

X-post with everyone Grin

nickelbarapasaurus · 07/04/2015 22:40

It always depends on context - if you and dave are doing something then it's
"dave and i are doing something"

but if you're just talking about you and dave, then it's
"i'm talking about me and dave"

in Australia, they use "i" more often, but take dave out of the question and it sounds weird.

(there is a disclaimer for archaic language, and one mood or tense or something, but it's far too complicated, so just stick with this for now)

Steppeoneggs · 07/04/2015 22:44

and to add to purple, you always name yourself last, so it can never be Me and Dave.

Many people think This is Dave and me. is wrong because they think you have to use I all the time. They are wrong.

nickelbarapasaurus · 07/04/2015 22:48

it's polite to name the other person first, but i don't think it's fundamental.

me and dave does sound more common than dave and me, though

Original poster
SlinkyB · 07/04/2015 22:57

Loving the x-posts! Ok, so, the only time you would write "Dave and I" is when it was followed by something like "Dave and I went to the beach". Yes?

Vaguely remember reading before about removing the other person's name to see how it looked/sounded. Also read it's better manners to put yourself last?

OP posts:
TheOneWiththeNicestSmile · 07/04/2015 23:09

In formal speech it's preferable to say "X and I went"

Informally, "me and X went" is acceptable (but "X and I went" is still better)

Agree with all PPs that removing X from the phrase clearly indicates whether me or I would be better Grin

unholyalliance · 07/04/2015 23:15

Remove the other person is how I taught my children...it also helped to think of us=me/ we =I ...it was given to Dave and me ( it was given to us) vs Dave and I were given a warm welcome ( in Richmond, or similar Wink) ( we were given a warm welcome)

Steppeoneggs · 07/04/2015 23:18

well, I was taught that you always name yourself last, so to be correct, you never say me and Dave.

YonicScrewdriver · 07/04/2015 23:18

Liney, I haven't mentioned I love you yet this month, have I?

unholyalliance · 07/04/2015 23:47

I think it is infinitely more important to know when to use me or I, than to always put yourself 'last'. (And since my kids' teachers seem unaware, it appears it will be solely up to my DH and me to teach themWink)

LineRunner · 07/04/2015 23:51

No Yonic, it's only the 7th. Smile

YonicScrewdriver · 07/04/2015 23:55
Grin
nickelbarapasaurus · 08/04/2015 20:46

yes, Dave and I went to the beach.

whenever Dave and I do something, I say "dave and I did it".

Original poster
SlinkyB · 08/04/2015 22:15

Thanks for your help all, I'm sure this question has been asked a squillion times!

What about when/where to use "myself" in a sentence? Like when you see people write "Myself and Dave went on holiday there once..." Does the same rule apply re: removing the other person's name and seeing how it looks and sounds?

I think I need to invest in a book Grin

OP posts:
unholyalliance · 09/04/2015 10:45

I think 'myself' is often used erroneously when 'me' or 'I' should be used. 'my husband and myself were given' ....again thinking in terms removing the other person gives the answer.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 09/04/2015 13:32

You need to ask if 'myself' could be substituted by something like 'on my own'. If so, it's OK.
'I made the cake myself/on my own.
Or if it's the same subject and object with a preposition:
'I took a picture of myself' is fine, but not 'I took a picture of herself' Grin
It is terribly over-used for some reason.

MumSnotBU · 09/04/2015 13:38

LineRunner you should offer that Dave and I post as an election poster Grin

nickelbarapasaurus · 09/04/2015 17:34

myself is reflexive.

"i can do it myself"
"dave can do it himself"
"you can do it yourself."

basically, you need to already have referred to the subject in the sentence.

"talk to myself" is wrong if you're not talking about you talking to yourself
(ie, in corporate speak)_ - it's mainly because people have had it drummed into them not to use "me" so they think that they can never use "me" when actually, they can use "me" when "me" is correct.

I talk to myself
I invite you to talk to me
You can talk to yourself, but you should really think about talking to me
I'll talk to you

nickelbarapasaurus · 09/04/2015 17:34

you can talk to me

unholyalliance · 09/04/2015 20:41

'on behalf of my wife and I', at the opening of every wedding speech, really grates. It sounds all wrong to me!