Do members of your family say things that bring out the pedant in you?

[UnquietDad]

MIL always says "them [nouns]", and "what" where she means "that" or "which". It makes me almost homicidal.

"Them books what you bought the other day."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!

And DW - who in most other ways is a precise user of language and a bit of a stickler - allows herself to lapse when in the presence of her ungrammatical Northern family. So, for example, when talking about her sister, she will say "Me and Jane are going..." I can never stop myself saying "Jane and I".

And they all just look at me as if I have broken wind.

I used to work with someone who said "damp squid" instead of "damp squib". Not a sea creature - they are supposed to be damp. A Victorian firecracker, on the other hand, is not.

I used to giggle to myself every time he said it - it was a favourite phrase of his...

I hate management/office buzz words and expressions:

Once got herded into a huge conference room after my employers company got absorbed by a huge corporation. This fourteen year old HR manager at the front (complete with 'Steps' type headphones and mic ) got us all to stand in rows. She proceeded to tell us that we would find a piece of string and some coloured paper clips on a table at the front of each row. We're all going to use these items to play a game to build good team relations and to energise us all for the day ahead.

*ACTUALLY NO WE ARE NOT - NOT FUCKING ALL OF US ARE - YOU JUMPED UP STUPID COW - TA-DAH

Sorry they weres all mean't too bee Bolded
Ok - I'll go quietly

Omg I've just said something on a thread that I wince at in rl and berate my children for:o

"Quality".

What a %#~>

aw, suda!

i prefer "
Ok dear - just a thought - why not get her a nasty insulting one for a change"

hope you feel a bit better today.

[wipes suda's forehead with a sooooooothing hand]

Nickel - you lost me mate !(hate that one too ) Im tring to be sarcastic or ironic ???? - sure someone will enlighten me on here which one it is ! As in : What other kind of bloody card would you get her other than a 'nice' one ? Its when people try and be cute and state the bloody obvious. Must go and scream loudly in my padded cell now - excuse me! My DH has asked me if we want to go out somewhere nice later on today ! NO I WANT TO GO TO A REAL BLOODY SHITHOLE INSTEAD PLEASE Sorry - going for that lie down now (or is it lay down).

Shuffles off mumbling....

Friends who say sangwich instead of sandwich and ong-ion instead of onion.

NIckel - ( I know I'm going in a minute -meds 'll kick in soon ) - have just realised what you meant sorry - ignore me -
most people do ( altogether now - ahhh )

My mil cannot say the words crisps properly. She says would the children like some crssssss? For some reason she cannot get her mouth around that particular combination and order of vowels and consonants.

suda, you loon!

ooh, Fellatio - my mum's the same!
then she goes all exaggerating and says PPPPPPuh after she's finished the word crissssssssssssssssssss.

so it goes "would you like some crisssssssssssssss... PPPPPPPuh?"

Ok - I'm back - managed to get the straps off - what we on about now ? - Ah mothers - well mines Irish so I think we'll steer clear !! She takes stating the obvious to another level: "Is dat yourself off out now?" - No Mother it's the next door-but-one-neighbour !
Or - when I returned - " Are ye after going out ? " - No Mother I've been stood in the hall all this time !

For those of you not familiar with the quirks of the Irish way of speaking English - Are you after going out...? means - Have you been out ?

My ILs are yod droppers-I hate it!

Every Saturday morning DH goes out to buy a paper "and that"

I hate it when people trail off deliberately without finishing a sentence - as though prompting you to complete it. E.g.

"I 'll just put the washing out and then...."

*WHAT ??? DO THE FANDANGO OUTSIDE THE POST OFFICE ? GO IN THE ATTIC AND PARACHUTE FROM THE VELUX ???

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

Those who can't remember/don't know how to use 'and I', it's easy - if you would say I on its own, say I, if you would say me, say me.

John and I go to the cinema every week.
I go to the cinema every week.

She gave it to Sarah and me.
She gave it to me.

As my nine year old would say, 'Simples!!"

Dame Edna used to say "excuse I"
(well she probably still does but I haven't seen her for a while)

(I'm surprised about Kirstie though, Euphemia, cos she really is posh)

Suda, that made me laugh!

I's dus moy best - ponders.

Sorry dgd's x2 are here from Bristol -rubs off on me - "innit" & "dont laugh at I " as one of them said this morning !

Got to go I promised them a trip to the sweet shop - lay-err (later)

It is a cliche, but language develops and changes; only death is static.

I find old Bill Shakespeare difficult to
comprehend. But I concede he was a rather good scribbler.

On posh, I find some of it irritating; but love mariella frostrop (however she spells it) and like Katherine Whitehorn, HMQ is very crisp. The royal boys dont talk that posh. And "Dave" has modified. Boris stays just the same. Tolerated because hes funny.
All in all it is a wonderful language we have.