Scream into the pillow of this thread and avoid scorn on others...

[tethersend]

Pedant's refuge: I have to get it out, but not on the threads themselves as I'll get ripped to shreds it's not polite. It's safe here.

Pier pressure

What gems have made your teeth itch in silent rage?

People who 'itch' themselves. No, you are scratching

I am going to start carrying a marker pen and pounce on any sign I see containing useless information. I have fought this urge for years. I shall no more.

e.g. BACK IN TEN MINUTES

to which I will add - Did you leave home without your crystal ball too?

But on a bad day the marker pen will make me write WE DONT KNOW WHAT TIME YOU LEFT - YOU FUCKING MORON

An old work colleague - she was actually quite young so I really should say 'former' used to try and use big words above her station - so to speak!

She once asked me to "Please stop that fan ovulating - my papers are getting blown everywhere. Is there a cult sci-fi horror called The Fans - if so she inspired the original idea.

AWESOME - in response to anything remotely agreeable to a young person.

Got DSS a bar of chocolate the other night and he said " awesome " grrrrr....
NO ITS NOT AWESOME - ITS A FUCKING TWIX !

My DS also says awesome (he's 5.5 though) which he'll have picked up from school friends.

We find it endearing actually. Better than "safe" or "wicked" or "sweet" that the teenagers often use.

Anyway, wouldn't you say something along the lines of "lovely" or "great" as a way of expressing delight? I think you could forgive your DS for saying "awesome" as he'll grow out of it.

It's it's by the way.

He is definitely not my son. He is my stepson (by the way). As for growing out of it - he is 24.5 and over 6ft. and therefore not so endearing. It is childish ( so alright from your 5.5 son ) and a totally inappropriate use of the word.

"...used to try and use big words..." => "...tried to use big words..."

Ahhh poor Cattj - even your nickname is short - bless

Maintainance

"Then" for "than"

"Tow the line"

In my part of the world people don't make the mistake of writing "definately" for "definitely" because they pronounce it definightly

Boogie - I dont generally use an apostrophe with capital letters, except where absolutely necessary (i.e. two possible meanings). I dont think in the example of the post you referred to there is any chance of the reader being confused. A sentence that begins: 'ITS NOT A...' could not mean a 'NOT' belonging to 'IT' any more than one that begins: 'ITS A ....' could mean an 'A' belonging to 'IT'. Both would be nonsensical. Sorry, I must leave now before the purists start circling. [fear emoticon]

don't

List of excuses:

1. Tiredness.

1. Stress.

1. Sleepless grandchild.

1. Multi-tasking (watching 'The Mentalist').

4a. He is gorgeous .

Spellcheckers (spellchecks? Now I'm not sure...) appear to correct 'definately' to 'defiantly', which can make for amusing reading. "I'm defiantly not proof-reading my own writing." Do people really just click on the first word suggested in a spell-check?

Now I need someone to untangle me from this muddle of what to call programmes-that-automatically-check-spelling.

'Spellcheck' reminded me of my sister-in-law sending a letter to a magazine column about the evils of puppy farming. To her horror she realised - days after she had posted it - that she had missed out an l. It read: "..we really need to raise pubic awareness if we are to solve the 'supply and demand' breeding..."

Luckily they spotted the error before publishing - spoilsports !

Holds pillow over face:

"didn't cost me nothing"

AAAAAAAAARGH

Presumably she got it 'for free' then?

Even presenters on Radio 4 say, "the team ARE", which is hugely disappointing.

"Manchester United are two goals down..." Are they? Is it? Pah.

mirrow
aaaaaaaaarrrgh (mild peril)

Agree with all the 'anythinks, nuffinks' etc, but how about 'fewd' for food.

Also misuse of the words obscene and tragedy.

By the way 'cul' is anatomical - it means arse, as in 'va te faire enculer' as my charming dd said to be in a strop not so long ago.

Sorry, should have been 'when in a strop not so long ago.

I haven't had the opportunity to read the entire thread, so apologies if these have already been mentioned.

Two of my most hated phrases are "could/should/would of" and "Toast in cheese/butter/nasty chocolate spread"

I also saw an amusing FB comment once when someone complained that her child's teacher wrote 'definitely' instead of 'definately'

(I now await a review of my grammar )

Saying 'a needle' for an injection and one that sets my teeth on edge 'eccetera' or the abbreviation ect instead of etc. It's et cetera!

Ooh yes, ect instead of etc [grr]

I've never heard 'Toast in cheese', NotfromConcentrate - bet I hear it everywhere now!

'I'll be with you momentarily.
Well given I've been queueing for 10 minutes, I bloody hope you'll be with me for more than a fraction of a second. Or did you mean you'll be with me in a moment?
Gah.

DH was working for Defra when they were promoting buffer strips - bits of land that are left at the edges of fields to encourage wildlife.
He brought home a press release that had been sent out to newspapers etc., mentioning :

bugger strips

That made my week!

Well, I suppose they are neighbours on the keyboard, but just goes to show the importance of a quick scan before publishing.

Smellslike - perhaps we could get together and raise pubic awareness of the bugger strips !

tb - I agree with your point on the misuse of words to dramatise. 'Awesome' is my pet hate - except when its cute children aged five saying it! (just in case Boogie's watching).

Oh - another one is: ' I'm losing the will to live '.
NO YOU ARE NOT ! YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING IN A QUEUE FOR TWO MINUTES ! YOU HAVE NOT JUST FINISHED YOUR TENTH COURSE OF CHEMOTHERAPY !

This phrase was once amusing but is so overused now and can be heard in any supermarket queue more than two deep,from every half-wit who thinks they're a comedian.

Grrrrr.....

On a trip to Eire recently the English people in the group were very amused by some of the road markings/signs there. E.g. on the road approaching a junction (instead of 'SLOW') it reads
'SLOWER'.

This caused great frivolity for the rest of the journey, e.g. "Slower than what ?" or "When we get further along the road will it say 'I SAID SLOWER'?" or last but not least: " When we get even further along will it say 'I WONT TELL YOU AGAIN'?

Another one we saw that caused similiar frivolity was
'YIELD' (in place of our 'GIVE WAY')
A voice piped up from the back "Does it say 'YIELD YE NOT' when you have right of way ?