not sure whether should invite dd's nursery friends to party at home?

[maxmissie]

It's both my ds and dd's birthdays in July - ds will be 1 and dd will be 3. Was planning to have a joint party for them at home, inviting immediate family, close friends and their children and also some of dd's friends (and their parents) from nursery.

I am quite relaxed about inviting our close friends and family to a party here but am wondering if it will be too much to invite a few of dd's nursery friends, as I don't know them or their parents well at all. Because it will be at home I feel like I'll be under pressure from people I don't know whereas if it's just close friends/family if it all goes a bit pear-shaped it doesn't matter! Also I'm not sure if people will feel comfortable in bringing their kids to a party at effectively a strangers house and so won't come along.

Am reluctant to spend lots of money on a separate party for dd when she is so young but at the same time she talks about her nursery friends all the time so it would be nice for her to do something with them.

Want to definitely do a small celebration for ds as well (as we did something similar for dd and also he has had a tough first year) so can't scrap that and just do something for dd instead.

As it's July am hoping the weather will be good enough for us to be outside but am also worried that if it rains there will be lots of people crammed into our house.

Don't know if I'm worrying unduly and should just invite them, after all it's only going to be for an hour and a half or whether we should do something separate for dd and her friends??

Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!

I think it would be lovely for your DD to have some of her nursery friends around. A big word of warning though, speaking from experience. Don't expect much consideration from her friends' parents or respect for the friendships in the form of RSVPs. I was shocked and very upset when I tried to arrange a party for DS's 3rd birthday and I'm never doing it again. I hope the parents of your DD's friends are more decent. My experience of other parents is they can't be arsed about their children's friendships.

I would be inclined to have a separate little tea party for nursery friends, then you can relax with your family and close friends at the other party.

gaelicsheep have heard similar tales from other friends who have invited nursery friends to parties and got no replies so am gearing myself up for that whatever we do!

liliputlady that might be a good idea, hadn't thought of doing that, it might be a lot less stressful with less people around.

Thanks both

If I were you I would do two low-key parties - just plate of sandwiches, bowl of crisps and a birthday cake in the garden type, no bouncy castles or magicians etc, though I would dig out the bubble machine or perhaps the paddling pool if it is roasting. Def don't spend money.
I'd invite family and any friends with babies for ds's birthday.
Then on another weekend invite dd's nursery mates and any non-nursery friends with preschoolers for a similar party for dd's birthday.

if she's anything like my dd (3 in aug) she will have very definite expectations from a birthday party and they may not include sharin git with her brother...

Re asking nursery friends and parents you don;t know well, just do it - I've been to lots of 2nd & 3rd bday parties of dd's nursery friends, everyone had a great time and I have (obv) got to know their parents better, which is nice for all concerned.

Hadn't thought of your suggestion MrsBadger, now have too many options to choose from!

Can I ask whether you've been to your dd's nursery friends' parties at home or at soft play type places?

DS pretty much only goes to parties of nursery friends as we both work ft. Theres been parties at softplay, halls and peoples homes.
We've had no problems with nursery friends not RSVPing (apart from a couple of embarrassed people who found their invite at the bottom of bags/car/drawer too late, and it's usually dad that gets blamed), and it's nice to meet the parents of the children your child plays with

all of ours so far have been at people's houses except one village hall bash

(and ditto CMOT re RSVPs)