I would be so worried no one will come!

[Nightshoe]

I'm wondering whether or not to do a small birthday tea party for my DD's 4th birthday, I was thinking of 4-5 guests. She has friends that she plays with at nursery and talks about, but I don't really know their mums because we pick up at all different times and I'm not a talkative type (although obviously I will say hello how are you to faces I recognise!). I'm so far from a party person, but DD is very sociable in comparasion so I don't think I should stifle that because of my introvert ways.

Do you think it would be ok to give invitations to nursery staff to give to mums? I would be so worried that no one will want to come and with such small numbers it would be really noticable. If you got an invitation like that would you try and come or decide that you didn't really know me? Parents are obviously welcome to stay and eat cake!

Yes give invitations to nursery staff and put your name and number on for RSVP and then you will know how many will come

But when my dd was in nursery I just sent the cake & candles in, as I didn't know them all very well

ds is a summer birthday and I got their numbers before the last day, rang and invited them and they came but didn't stay, one boy cried but we managed to talk him round

sorry mean't the parents didn't stay even though they didn't really know me

Totally normal to panic (I didn't sleep a wink the night before ds's first proper nursery friends party)

Give invites out with your mobile number on (its much easier to text acceptance straight away rather than faffing with strips of paper with ticks on that get lost) and mention CAKE so they can stay if they want

When the dc's were young I'd just moved to a small village and didn't know a soul. I went to anywhere and anyone that would invite me.

[shameless]

I did send in a cake last year (forgot the candles though, nursery had some luckily!) and DD was over the moon with that. Maybe I should just leave it until she is at school next year when much more chance of bumping into and getting to know parents and classmates. It is a daycare nursery so everyone really does get picked up at different times. I suppose that would mean all the children would get to be involved which is lovely for them too.

Noooooo

Have a little tea party PLUS cake at nursery !

Gawn

Have you got a back-up couple of little friends from elsewhere that you could bank on coming?

No, no back up unfortunately. We used to, but they have both moved quite far away in the last few months. One little girl is coming to stay for the weekend but about a month before her birthday so I can't really do the tea party then.

I know exactly how you feel.
DO the party; we can be brave together

I work in a pre-school and it is totally normal for parents to ask who their child plays with so they know who to invite to a party, and then bring invites in for preschool to give out.

go for it, you might make a friend or 2

If you invite 4-5 and only 1 comes it would still be a fun tea party in your DD's eyes - just don't set any expectations with her as to numbers. I would phrase the invitation so as to make it clear that this was a few friends (and optionally parents) for tea, not a huge party - hopefully that would make people more inclined to respond.

You are spot on, BTW - this is as hard as it gets. Once at school with set pick up/drop off times it is a lot easier to match child to parent.

I've only just seen these further replies I should just do it shouldn't I? I think I will talk to DH about doing it. Her birthday falls at a weekend, would it be strange to do it the weekend before? Our family live far away too and some are coming to visit on her birthday and my house can only hold so many people!

Well apparently I don't need to ask the nursery staff because I just asked DD who her friends are at nursery and she gave me a very clear and definate list

LOL - my DD was the same. In fact, when I was still dithering as to whether to bother with a party for her 3rd birthday, she came home and announced "Mummy I am having a princess party for my birthday and I have invited A,B,C,D & E" - so I just did as I was told! My DM was PHSL (and ) at my effectively following orders from a not-quite-3yo but I was entirely wrong-footed because DS at the same age couldn't come up with a coherent list of friends at all and had less than no idea about parties.

LOL- well apparently she is having a fancy dress party and I haven't even mentioned parties! I have six names, so I think that is probably about as much as I can handle and allows for a couple of can't comes too. I know that she wants a Tinkerbell birthday - will the boys (2 she wants to invite) mind a fairy theme?

My DS certainly wouldn't mind a fairy theme.

And I only know parents from nursery via parties - we just leave invites in their nursery drawer with a mobile no so that people can text back and it seems to work really well, and is a nice chance to meet the parents of the children your child is friends with

Tinkerbell is fine, IMHO because the boys can be Peter Pan / pirates (or boy fairies) if they want to dress up at all.

Of course, I get so blinded with the glittery disney fairy angle that I forget that Tinkerbell is from Peter Pan! OK, I'm going to do it then .

So having not done the party thing before, do I have to have it on the actual day of her birthday or can I do it the weekend before? I won't be able to do it during the week because they are all at nursery. Also what is the best time of day and how long should I be aiming for?

Weekend before is fine, and most we have been to run 2-4 ish. Lets people have lunch, and then they actually want their tea at the end of it

Thank you CMOTdibbler, all of my extremely introverted and neurotic worries are now laid to rest.

Thanks to everyone who has replied and helped me, I'm sure DD will be thrilled .