Could someone tell me the birthday party ettiquet here?

[MaMight]

If we sent our appologies that dd could not go to her classmate's 4th birthday party, but now our plans have changed, do we leave it, or call the parents to say she can go after all?

Is it more important to make the effort to go to a friend's party?

Or more important not to mess the parents around with changing numbers?

It is at a play place. Does that mean numbers will be booked and paid for?

Should we just leave it?

it depends how well you know the parents I think - if it's at a play barn type place with food included it may be that they had to confirm numbers a week or so ago (though a child may drop out on the day through illness etc - often happens). if it's a general hall hire at say a leisure centre and they are providing their own food it's likely to be less crucial that they know exact numbers.

I agree with thirtysomething - depends how well you know then. I would approach the mum being terribly apologetic etc and start with 'I understand if it's too late, don't want to mess you around etc'.

In the end, if there have been some children drop out, she may be very grateful that yr child can now attend.

I would ask if my DC could still go; last time I held a party for DC we only had 8 yes's out of 15 invites, and I was really grateful for every one of those yes's.

I think I would leave it as they may have offered her place to someone else. I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask though. I wouldn't think you were cheeky if you asked me.