No presents please??

[jonquil]

DD (6) is in a class with 16 other lovely girls (14 boys!). She has already been invited to lots of parties this year and I am finding it very hard to whittle down the number of children in her class to a manageable number for a birthday party of her own. I have therefore settled on the idea of inviting all the girls (16) for an after school birthday tea party lasting an hour and a half. I really don't want 16 of her friends all stumping up for a pressie for her (and also the thought of 16 party bags), so wondered what people thought of the idea of me asking them to bring a wrapped book to add to a going home lucky dip. What do you think? Does that make me look mean for not doing party bags and will people object to not buying a gift for the birthday girl? I don't think dd would mind as she has loads of cousins and we will be giving her quite a few pressies. Any thoughts gratefully appreciated....

I think that's a lovely idea, wish I'd thought of it!!! Personally, wouldn't restrict gift to a book; would consider a suggested price limit; and would also ensure your DD understands what is happening way before the invitations go out. Overall, fab idea, hope it works out xx

Nice idea in a way but.....

I also think it's good to remember that people get pleasure from giving. I always try to involve my dc when getting a present for their friends, so that they are learning about how it is nice to give presents as well as to receive them.

I also don't like the idea that you go home from a party with a present. Although I don't particulalry like party bags and sweets, I do think that is more acceptable than being given a wrapped present when you go home from a party. After all, they have already been entertained and fed, really they do not need a wrapped present as well imo.

great idea, i think more people should do this but no one has the balls

I also think it would create an odd feeling for people who may have accepted a birthday present from you when your dd has attended their child's party, but when your dd has a party somehow their child also comes home with a present - so it's like you are again giving a present.

Let other people give your dd presents - they might enjoy giving them!!

A lovely idea-start a trend.

tbh, I wouldn't do it myself for my DC's parties, but would quite happily participate if I got an invite!

I used a fantastic website for my daughters birthday, called The Present Club, basically the child creates a profile and selects what present she'd like and everyone can chip in whatever they like, saves all the shopping and it's fun as you can write messages and stuff. my daughter put a bike in her wish list and she received it and it's good cos some of the profits go to registered charities.

I set up a Just Giving page for both my dcs last birthday to raise money for a children's charity instead of a present. Liked the idea that more needy children would benefit from the generosity of my dcs' friends.

I'm not sure about getting the friends to provide the party bags. Perhaps better to do that make your own party bag thing. They decorate the bag and perhaps do a craft activity to create something to go in it. Yellow Moon is a good website that has loads of ideas for this.

I totally agree with Heavealot. Although I see why you want to do it, there just seems to be a lot of problems. If you don't know all of the parents I would feel a bit uncomfortable.

Also asking people to bring a book instead of a gift is sort of saying that you do expect a gift in the first place.

I wouldn't like it personally, although I can see the benefit of not having 16 extra toys in the house. My ds loves choosing a present that he thinks his friend will like, particularly if its one of his close friends. You might just end up making the other parents think they have to send everyone home with a gift when they next have a party, like an extension of competitive party bags. By asking everyone to bring a wrapped book its like taking away the pleasure of choosing a gift and the social lesson of bringing something for the host when attending an event and telling people to provide a party bag equivalent. Plus they will all unwrap the books in your house and try and swap them with each other.

At some of the Naming Ceremonies I conduct, the parents have got cardboard collection boxes from NSPCC for the guests to give donations.
You could try for something more specific - there is an organisation called KIVA, who lend very small amounts of money to people in the developing world. The girls could all club together and nominate someone they wish to support. The loan money is then lent out and when repaid it is used to support other projects - very sustainable.

Isn't one of the joys of a birthday party going hoe with a bin bag full of unnecessary plastic objects?

You don't have to do expensive stuff for party bags - we made initial shaped biscuits for everyone once - went down incredibly well.