What to do after a christening? Please help....

[notoverit]

I was thinking of going for a meal after the christening as was not planning on having a party due to my family not getting on and making me feel awarkward about certain family members being there.

But then someone told me I will have to pay for everyones meal as it is not the usual thing to invite people to a christening then expect them to pay for their own meal.

I am a single parent and had to buy a dress for dd, and apparntly I need to put some money in a crad for the priest which I did not know about but it makes sense. So I am fine wh=ith this.

But cannot affod to pay for a meal for friends and family.

I was thinking about maube invitng friends to my mums place after for a bbq and drinks, but that would mean my sister and her children will not come or my brother as they do not speak to my mum.

They were being so nasty about my mum being there that now she has decided not to come.

This is a nightmare. Please advise....

surely your family won't expect you to pay for their meals? They'll understand. Could you invite them to your place, or for a picnic or something?

If you'd like to do something afterwards, but can't afford it, then you can say to people something like 'there's nothing arranged for after DD's christening, but a few people have said it would be nice to go for a drink and a bite to eat after. Every man for himself I'm afraid, but if you'd like to, I can book a table'

As long as you are clear about what is happening, no one will object. If you can stretch to a drink all round, then that would be good though

Sorry, how crappy for you.

Agree, your place would be be best, just for nibbles and drinks

Their relationships with each other are NOT your responsibility.

Message withdrawn

Why do you have to give the priest anything?

Is there anywhere in the church you could just have tea and a slice of christening cake?

I don't think you should have to accommodate falling out family members. The spirit of the occasion should bring everyone together and break down barriers.

A Christening lunch can be sandwiches and simple salads. It doesn't have to be expensive. I think you just invite them and wait for them to attend.

I don't know about paying for the priest - are you RC? We didn't pay anything to the church for our christenings (we are active church members who already tithe).

Actually my brother in law did say I could just pay for my friends he will pay for his family. They will be the only ones there out of my family because of my sisters attitude towards my mum...

Also i live with my mum so that is why my family cannot come back here.

But my friends could. I asked my mum if that would be ok and she said yes fine as she will just go away for the weekend as will be upset that she will not be at the christening.

I think maybe I shouldjust do that as I am annoyed that my sster was being so nasty that my mum decided not to come so I should not worry about what that part of the family want...

So are you OK with your Mum not being there?

scienceteacher - yes I am RC, this is what my sister said about giving the priest money but I think it is a good idea.

I new the occasion would not bring family members back together but I thought maybe they could all agree to just ignor each other at the church. But my sister said she does not even want to see my mum there atall, and because my sister is the godmother I cannot tell her not to come.

I didnt tell my mum not to come but just told her how my sister was acting.

And also my brother does not speak to my mum, and my sister does not want her children to speak to my mum so that is why she made a big fuss about it all.

I feel they are all so selfish and do not care enough about my dd to just ignore ewach other for the day...

Actually I do not mind if my mum is ther or not as I no she has done some bad things to other family members. But I get on with her ok and my dd loves her. I do not mind who is or isnt there out of my family members.

I am not happy that my brother and sister are so selfish that they cannot put those problems to the side for one hour so that I do not feel uncomfortable on that day, and my dd gets to have her nan there. Just at the church, as I know there is no chance of them spending any time together afterwards.

If your sister is Godmother, she has to turn to Christ and renounce evil. Do you think she can make this declaration without making peace with her own mother?