Ds is invited to a twins' joint birthday party but he only knows one of them, who do I buy a present for?

[alarkaspree]

They will be four, ds is in preschool with one of the boys and we have met up to play outside school but the other one goes to a different school and we have never met him. I can't decide whether to get a present for both of them or just ds's friend.

The cost isn't really an issue so maybe I should just get two presents but then I think maybe it's over the top. They will have loads of presents anyway. It's a no-no to get them a joint present isn't it?

What do you all think?

2 presents. How come different schoolds I am very nosy

I would buy for both

I think as it's twins you could get a joint pressie actually.

It's odd that he knows one twin adn not the other...normally in this situation your child either knows both kids (DS2 has such a one - 2 boys in his class) or only one of the children - say it's joint with a family friend.

In the 1st case it's 2 presents, in the 2nd, just for the child you know is fine.

In this case tho as it's twins, I think you need 2 presents or a joitn one.

Excellent, a unanimous verdict which means I don't have to think for myself. I will get two presents. Thanks everyone.

i only expected the friend to get for the twin that he or she was friends with.

however in your shoes, to save any social faux pas, i would buy eiher a pressy that they can both join in with - something artsy or a board game or something - or two pressies.

Never a joint present!

I would get a present for the one you know and maybe a small token gift for the one you don't. When my DTs have paries, I always let them invite so many people each and I would hope people would get a gift for the one who invited their child and not the other.(if they want to get a gift that is)

As a mum of twins I wouldn't expect you to buy for the twin that you didn't know..

It sounds like only one of the twins invited your ds?

Personally I hate joint presents, to me thats like you're buying for one person not two? I would prefer if someone was buying for both my dts to split what they were spending on the one present into two, for example if you are going to buy for both just something like a pack of pens or hot wheels car? You don't need to spend loads of money.

Sounds like they have split the twins for a reason - to make their own friends for example? Mine are in separate classes partly for this reason and no way would I expect people to buy for both of them, even though they often play together at school. I ensure that they have their own invitations to their own friends even though their party is joint.

(Hope that makes sense!!)

I think for a joint party you should buy two presents, really. You can get nice things for DC from the local poundshop, after all.

i would say only the one you know
i don't think the child will care or notice, and the parents if have any sense will be glad not to get a present from someone they don't know

I would only get for one

As nanny to my third set of twins, I would only buy for the child you know.

I have helped hold so many parties and would always say just buy for child in thier class.

That said, some parents buy joint presents. or one each.

By "joint pressie" btw I meant something they could enjoy together - maybe costing more than individual gifts - such as a nice board game (Junior Monopoly for instance is good and no use for one child anyway). It's £10 so about right for 2 gifts too.

Either buy for the one you know or buy two presents. As the mother of twins I don't think it's fair to buy one joint present. They are individual children who happen to have shared a womb and a birthday.

Ah Marsy I hear you.

Having said that I used to buy DS1 and DD a joint pressie when they were smaller (b/days 4 days apart) - eg a trampoline or sthg else too big for a single gift.

Maybe tho it is worse for twins.