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Original poster

How to word wedding invite when asking for cash instead of presents

45 replies

MmeLindt · 01/04/2009 17:47

I know this has been done before, but search appears to be broken so could anyone give us some ideas how to word the invite. Suggestions from soon-to-be SIL are:

We havent got a wedding list
The reason we'll explain
Its to save you all the trouble
As shopping is a pain

But if you'd like to contribute
To our special day
Some money would be great
To get ourselves a treat

But most importantly, we request
That you turn up as our wedding guest

OR

We are sending out this invitation
And hope you will join our celebration
If to send a gift is your intention
We have already got a kettle and toaster Crockery, dinner mats and coasters So rather than something that we have already got Please give us money for our saving pot But most importantly we request That you turn up as our wedding guest

OR

So what do you get
for the Bride and Groom
whose house has things
in every room

When shopping for a present
please dont be rash
as the option is there
to give us cash

We hope that you dont find
our request to be funny
but the decision is yours
to buy a present or just give money

Now you have a choice
please do not fuss
the most important thing of all
is that you come and celebrate with us

Anyone got other ideas? They would like to have money so that they can come to visit us in Switzerland as a belated honeymoon. Is anyone good at poems?

OP posts:
MakeHayNotWar · 01/04/2009 17:48

NO POEMS

ilove · 01/04/2009 17:49

No poems they are crass

MerlinsBeard · 01/04/2009 17:54

asking for cash is rude imo

Original poster
MmeLindt · 01/04/2009 17:54

I am not keen on the poems either. That is why I am hoping someone on here will have a good idea.

It is not my wedding though, so not my decision. Just thought I could gently suggest an alternative to SIL.

OP posts:
clumsymum · 01/04/2009 17:55

No, No, No.

We went to a wedding last year where the couple wanted money instead of presents, and I thought it was awful, even tho' they also tried to do a witty poem to soften the request.

We had no idea how much to give. I would have spent btween about £25-£40 on a present (a friends daughter was the bride), but in cash terms this seemed a bit thin. I felt that as they opened each card they would be commenting on how generous or tight they thought the guest had been, and it made me very uncomfortable.

Please don't do this to the guests.

MerlinsBeard · 01/04/2009 17:56

ah right it's not you!

Will let you off then

maybe ask for thomas cook vouchers or something?

JudithChalmers · 01/04/2009 17:56

NO POEM SHIT

dont ask for anything
then peopel wil ask
then you say
" i am a greedy mare and i only want your money"
IMO its RUDE to put any mention of presents in the inviation.

MummyDoIt · 01/04/2009 17:57

The poems are cringeworthy. Sorry! I personally don't agree with asking for money but, if they're dead set on it, perhaps asking for travel vouchers is a bit less rude. I believe you can set up the equivalent of a wedding list with a travel agent.

Original poster
MmeLindt · 01/04/2009 17:57

MOM
It is my brother's wedding. They are in their 40s, they have enough towels, crockery and various other junk to last two lifetimes.

They cannot afford to have a honeymoon and would like to come to visit us so that we can see my niece (who I have only seen once when she was born 7 months ago).

Anyway, please do not start a discussion about that, it is all irrelevant to the thread anyway.

OP posts:
GossipMonger · 01/04/2009 17:57

Please come to our wedding.

A wedding list will not be provided as we already have the things we need in our house.

Looking forward to seeing you.

and that leaves it up to the discretion of the guest.

JudithChalmers · 01/04/2009 17:57

ah yes
tell your brother oyu cannot [play any role in this crass moeny grabbing escapade.

littlelamb · 01/04/2009 17:58

O god no not poems. I went to a wedding where the invite bascially (and politely) said that between them my friends already had too much stuff and not enough space so a financial contribution to their future together was welcome. I was still a bit uneasy about it tbh and I ended up getting them an Oxfam gift- I 'bought' them some trees iirc. I think I would always go for this kind of gift if I was asked for money again- I can see why they are asking but it's stil rude imo.

TomNook · 01/04/2009 17:59

I agree
DOnt ask for anything
If they are so blase not to need things then they dont need things.

Original poster
MmeLindt · 01/04/2009 17:59

I know I am going to regret this thread.

It is not a money grabbing escapade.

He is on a small wage.

She is a SAHM with a 7mth old baby.

They are skint.

They do not need crystal goblets or tacky ornaments.

They want to go on holiday.

OP posts:
snice · 01/04/2009 18:00

There is no polite wa to word it -so it really doesn't matter which of the bad poems you use.

The only acceptable wording would be: "We already have everything we need so please don't feel the need to buy us a gift" and even that's a bit yuk.

fattiemumma · 01/04/2009 18:00

just got an invite which reads

all we ask for our wedding is for the pleasure of your company. However if you do feel you wold like to give us something then because we have everything we need for our home we would really appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon fund or a new kitchen. therefore you can choose to put the money in a card to give to us on the day. Alternativly we have set up a specific saving account in order for people to transfer an amount of your choice straight into.
Please leave your name with any deposits so that we can thank you personally

and they give details of the account.

i personally don't like the idea but its a bit hard to argue with their reasoning and it does make things a lot simpler.

TomNook · 01/04/2009 18:00

so dont have a big wedding fgs!

TomNook · 01/04/2009 18:00

so dont have a big wedding fgs!

FioFio · 01/04/2009 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShowOfHands · 01/04/2009 18:03

My school friend's getting married in August. They put something like:

"The best gift you could get us is celebrating with us. We are saving up for a honeymoon so if you liked, contributions would go a long way. Otherwise, if you prefer to purchase a present then we are happy to be surprised."

Something like that.

They're flat broke, been saving for the wedding for years, paying for it themselves and tbh I want to help them with their honeymoon.

I wasn't at all offended by it.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/04/2009 18:03

They shouldn't ask for cash without giving the reason why. And they shouldn't make it rhyme. They will still piss people off, perhaps unreasonably, but it is better to just be upfront and ask for the money to go on holiday if that's what they want. Or they can make a list of genuinely useful stuff rather than crystal goblets. If they are on a low income with a small baby there are almost certianly things they could do with. I would be happy to give cash in this situation BTW, but not in response to one of those poems...

Original poster
MmeLindt · 01/04/2009 18:03

TomNook
It is not a big wedding, it is not even MY wedding. They are on a tight budget.

Why am I bothering to argue?

Fattiemama
That is great, just the kind of thing that I was thinking of. Thankyou.

OP posts:
FioFio · 01/04/2009 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoupDreggon · 01/04/2009 18:04

Never ask for gifts in the invitation, whether you want cash or a gift. It's rude.

Original poster
MmeLindt · 01/04/2009 18:05

ShowofHands
Thanks, that is nice too. Will suggest something like that.

I hope they don't have their hearts set on "poetry"

OP posts:
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