Do I really have to invite the whole class?

[luckywinner]

My ds will be 4 in a month. He has just started a new nursery, been there since jan, and so far he has been invited to 3 parties, and each time the whole class has been there (30 children). We live in a small flat in London and there is no way I can have 30 children over, or the alternative, hire a venue and entertainment. The school hall is 80 quid an hour. So am I being a meanie if I say only a few friends?

No you don't. People understand if you're short of space.

coudl you sqeeze in only teh boys?

i have never heard of school halls being £80 an hour

what about a church or community hall? they are normally about £30 for 2-3 hours

where were the other parties?

No - it is quite common and perfectly accepted that children do not always have whole class parties, esp when in classes of 30

If you do want a venue though, do look around - church halls, etc are generally a cheaper option.

A few friends is fine. The problems occur when say 28 out of 30 are invited.

no you're not being mean. imo the only thing that's not on is leaving out a tiny number, iyswim.

cross-posted with tracybath

DD was 3 this year and we just did our own thing - family and a clutch of friends. I reckon there's plenty of school years to come where there is an expectation that the whole class will be invited.

She hasn't bee ostracised!

No you don't!!!! We have done the whole "invite the class" thing when ds had a party in our local sports centre and they had games, football and a bouncy castle and it was ok but receiving thirty presents of plastic rubbish isn't funny (sorry, don't mean to sound ungrateful!) His parties are now getting smaller and smaller For dd's (4)birthday next week, she's taking four friends bowling and she's more than happy with that

I too live in London (central) so I know your dilemma! Yes, Kristina, school halls do charge £80 an hour - and more!! It can feel like there is a real pressure to have a massive party and invite the whole class, and I have done so in the past. My DS1 is now 7 and was happy this year to just take a couple of friends on a little outing but even so we had to make quite a difficult decision of who to invite and who to leave out.

No, you are not being a meanie. If you can't face a big do or don't want to fork out, I think it's fine to just do something at home. People really do understand especially if they are in the same boat.

no of course you don't have to invite the whole class, and of course you aren't being a meanie if you actually invite (shock horror) just his close friends.

god don't. i can't bear all this invite the whole class business. If you do you may end up having to go to 30 parties (double or triple if you have more than one DC)

arggghhhhh

Wow, went to make a cup of tea and come back to all these replies, thanks!! I am so glad you have all said don't do it. I was really beginning to think I would have to have all 30 of them and after adding it all up it was going to cost at least 200 quid all in.

The school hall price is a bit isn't it, and it's his flipping school and no discount.

Two of the parties were in the school hall, and both had children's entertainer complete with punch and judy and a mini foam squirter thingy that reminded me of the foam parties in Ibiza . The other was at the local soft play place but I just looked at the price and it was 11.50 a head . To me that is just stoopid money.

I am at price of parties in London!! We hired the local community sports hall for Dd 5th birthday party. It was £26 for 3 hours, including a party room for eating with access to a small kitchen and a HUGE sports hall with bouncy castle and soft play equipment.

in that case i woudl defo be having 4 or 5 children to a small party or joining up with another family to do the whole class thing