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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

I want DS2 to go to a girl's birthday party ... he does want to ...

14 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 04/03/2009 11:43

I probably shouldn't care, or shouldn't care so much. The girl is in DS2's class. He's 4. I like the mum, but don't really see her socially.

I think DS2 doesn't want to go because it's a girl's party.

I've checked, and one of his good friends is invited, and also opposed to going. I've discussed with his mum the possibility of me taking both.

I just need to care less, right?

OP posts:
Gorionine · 04/03/2009 11:48

Why would you insist on him, going if he clearly does not want to? You might have a good reason but I do not understand it.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 04/03/2009 11:53

Oh, no, I won't insist or force. I want him to go, but there's no way I'm insisting or forcing him to go! (It's just a party! And anyway, DS2 responds very very badly to force.)

I'm trying to lure him into it, or talk him into it.

I guess it just seems rude and weird to me, for him to not go because he doesn't want to. But it's a party, it's not a mandatory event.

OP posts:
Gorionine · 04/03/2009 12:07

If he really does not want to go and you do not want to be rude to the person who invited him, just say "sorry, he cannot on that day." do not tell her "oh no, he won't come because he really can't stand your DD, sorry!"

seriously, I do not think you have to give a reason at all, but I do not know the other person, are they easily offended?

MamaG · 04/03/2009 12:11

I had this a couple of weeks ago with my 4 year old DS! I said to him "you don't have to go if you don't want to, but M, K, C and T (boys) are all going and it should be fun."

He went and enjoyed himself in the end.

I think its very much a "boy" thing to not want to go to a girly party. Once my DS found out other boys would be there he was ok

Fimbo · 04/03/2009 12:15

My ds (5) cannot abide girls at all (despite the fact he has an older sister!). Now when we get invites to girls parties he goes because he knows his boy pals will be there (he goes nowhere near the birthday girl though).

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 04/03/2009 17:23

I don't think it's down to her DD. There are some girls he can stand, ones he knows better, I think.

I guess it's made complicated by the fact that they did used to be good friends, of a sort, he would help her behave better at school (this is what her mum and the teachers told me) and was a big help. She has some behavioural issues, nothing big I don't think. (But these behavioural issues make me worry there won't be lots of people at the party ... probably I'm wrong, though.) They were even, briefly, best friends.

But anyway, he doesn't like her any more, afaik.

I don't think her mum is easily offended, hard to know. She's quite high strung.

I've sent the mum a text asking what's planned for the party, and explaining that DS2 is being difficult. I'll talk to him about his friend going and see what he says - I tried to talk to him about this earlier, but he wasn't listening and just shouted at me to stop.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 05/03/2009 09:42

Ah, looks like we've made a deal. There will be computer time that morning (already due to happen) and I will make pancakes, and spike up his hair for the party. And he will go. He's agreeing to this perfectly happily, and I'm glad he's going. The whole thing is a bit mad, I know, but whatever ...

OP posts:
BirdyArms · 05/03/2009 17:19

Makes me feel sad that this starts so young. My ds1 is 4 in a couple of weeks and at the moment wouldn't care if was a boy's party or a girl's party. He obviously enjoys playing with boys more than girls but has never said that he prefers boys to girls.

Fimbo · 05/03/2009 17:34

Mine is saying it now Birdy, bet that all changes in the teenage years.... unless he is gay of course.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 05/03/2009 18:01

Ah, DS2 only went this way so young because he's a second child, and copying DS1.

Amusingly, DS1 is very much into boys, doesn't like girls much - but he'll still go to their parties. He's not horrid to them. But of course, in copying DS1, DS2 goes further.

OP posts:
MamaG · 06/03/2009 09:38

I think they do all follow. DS1 follows other boys in his class who have older brothers "we don't like girls!"

Its a very boy class though, 18 of them compared to 9 girls

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 06/03/2009 09:59

DS2 has now got enthusiastic about the party, he made a picture for the birthday card on the computer this morning. It has lots of pink in it.

He's still checking with me that all his bribes are happening, though - pancakes and spiky hair.

OP posts:
MamaG · 06/03/2009 11:46

lol. I had to do spiky hair for my DStoo. Its his party on Saturday and he firmly stipulated No Girls. Apart from DD

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 06/03/2009 13:15

The birthday girl's mum assures me there will be more boys than girls at the party. There will also be two entertainers, a pirate one and a princess one.

This is a three-hour party.

It is not dump-and-run (They're in nursery, not reception, and no previous parties of this year have been dump-and-run.)

Three hours. Two entertainers.

WTF was I thinking, convincing DS2 to go?!?!

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