Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Flip

Original poster

is it okay to say this in the party invite?

16 replies

mckenzie · 18/02/2009 14:16

"As DD?s party is going to be quite small and held at home, if you and your child are happy for you to not stay then please feel free to do that. DD has chosen an entertainer for some of the time and there will be grandparents and godparents present to help with tea time. Please do let me know though if your child has any allergies.
If you would like to stay, you are very welcome."

DD is four. We were at a party the other week with an entertainer but there were so many parents around chatting etc the chidlren could hardly hear the entertainer sometimes and I thought it spoilt it a bit. Our house is very open plan so although we probably have the sq ft to cope with all the parents they will have to be in the same area as the children which I would like to avoid.

Your thoughts please?
TIA

OP posts:

islandofsodor · 18/02/2009 14:22

We have just started doing childrens drama/dance parties and we get around this by saying that parents are to come at x time to watch the end of the party.

Parnets tend to get in the way and inhibit the children from taking part. If any parents do stay and are talking/being distrating then a polite word would be perfectly in order.

Original poster

mckenzie · 18/02/2009 14:41

Thanks Islandofsodor but unfortunately that doesn't help in my situation . Or are you suggesting that the note is unnecessary and I should just have a quiet word if it looks like the noise levels from the parents are affecting the party?

OP posts:

Tamarto · 18/02/2009 14:44

I'd not bother with the note, but would mention it to any mums you talk to that they don't need to stay, then if the noise levels up at the party from the adults you'd be well within your rights to tell them to STFU

KingCanuteIAm · 18/02/2009 14:45

Could you say "DD will have plenty of godparents and grandparents staying to help us so feel free to have a bit of quiet time, just leave me your number and details of any allergies"

KingCanuteIAm · 18/02/2009 14:46

Sorry, meant to say, this way parents who are happy to leave will feel able and those who are not happy to leave their children will not feel awkward about it.

lisalisa · 18/02/2009 14:47

I think the note sounds fine. At that age parents are often unsure as to whether or not they are expected to stay or not and most would probably prefer not to. if they stay they inevitably get bored and hence the chatting starts so the note would certainly set my mind at rest ( provided of course my child would be happy to stay with out me).

BirdyArms · 18/02/2009 14:48

I think your message is too wordy, makes you look a bit odd IMO! I would go with what King Canute suggests.

nkf · 18/02/2009 14:50

I don't know what you are trying to say. It's a bit waffly. Do you mean, you want them to go away?

ellingwoman · 18/02/2009 14:54

If you have more than 10 coming and some are under 4 then I wouldn't want the parents to leave - too much of a responsibility! It's not just teatime it's the tantrums, toilet runs and general behaviour!

mej3 · 18/02/2009 14:55

Hi mckenzie, Have you tried maybe just writing on the invitation "if you need to collect your child before the party finishes, please let us know so we can make sure they have their little goody bag".Many thanks.
That way they get the message that they are not to stay, but you are caring that their child get's their wee goody bag before they go. But sometimes, you can't win no matter what you do. Hope all goes well.

Original poster

mckenzie · 18/02/2009 14:56

kingcanuteIam - thank you. That's what i am trying to say.
I dont want the parents to assume that they need to stay if they would like to go and have some peaceful child-free time but I know (from overheard conversations about other parties) that they sometimes feel obliged to stay. I'm trying to make it so that if they would feel more comfortable staying then that is fine but if they would rather push off then that is fine (and probably better) too.

OP posts:

bodiddly · 18/02/2009 15:01

I haven't been to any parties for 4 year olds where anyone leaves their child. I thought that started when they were 5ish and at school. Not sure if it makes people feel awkward about staying but I know what you mean!

2pt4kids · 18/02/2009 15:05

For a 4 year olds party I would assume I needed to stay.
I'd be happy to leave DS though and either your note or the one Kingcanutlam suggested would be absolutely fine in my opinion and I would then do as suggested and leave him!

KingCanuteIAm · 18/02/2009 15:23

Round here they are at scool at 4/4.5 and it is perfectly normal to leave them from the time they are happy being left. The only parties people stay at are the ones with "bring a bottle" on the invitation (I don't go to thise though )

Original poster

mckenzie · 18/02/2009 17:16

sorry I had to run and collect DS. Thanks for the extra replies. I'm not too worried about the toilet trips etc as some of the mums will be staying but they are the mums that I am friends with independent of our children. The layout of our house is such that the party will be in the larger back lounge area which is fairly open plan and next to the kitchen dining area. For adult parties it is great but if the adults are in the kitchen / dining area chatting you will hear it all in the lounge area where the children will be. I have two smaller front rooms (study and play room) but they are not right for adults sitting and having a chat (obviously really I guess, by definition). So while I am more than happy for parents to stay I just thought I'd offer them the 'out clause' as it might be nice for them and it will (I think) be easier for me

OP posts:

Littlefish · 18/02/2009 17:40

We did this, and I put something like...

"Now that the children are all a little older, please feel free to leave them with us and enjoy some childfree time to yourself".

Flip