Weddings - would you rather sit with other families or with proper grown ups?

[Laugs]

I was going to gatecrash the other wedding thread, but I'm posting here instead.

If you were at a wedding with toddler(s), and assuming you didn't know anyone else, would you rather sit at a table with other people with kids, or with other couples?

I am wading through the nightmare that is The Table Plan. I don't want the people with kids to feel like they're dumped on the family table and out of the way. This is not how we feel at all. I'm worried they would be offended.

Then again, I think at least all the adults would have something in common and the ice would get broken pretty quickly with 4 toddlers on the table. Also, the adults wouldn't have to sit around jealously watching everyone else get drunk while they are still in parent mode.

Which would you prefer if it were you?

I'd rather sit with other families with kids. Definitely less awkward. Just my opinion, though!

I'd prefer to sit with other families ...

Come and gatecrash the other thread - we need some fresh meat

Other people with children.

One of the worst weddings I went to, DH and I and 6wo baby, were sat with a family we didn't know with 3 kids under 5 and a childless couple we also had never met before...I spent half the time disappearing to breastfeed and the other parents were running after their 3 the whole time, leaving DH to make struggling conversation at the almost empty table with the (probably still childless after that!) couple. Awful.

Can you try and mix childless and parents but make sure as much as possible that they know each other? I know that I would rather sit with childless friends who enjoy interacting with my DC's (and us!) than make smalltalk with other parents I don't know.

Ok, that's what I was probably going to do so that is good.

It's just on another thread someone described a lovely wedding they'd been to and said that all the families were spread out and it was nice not to have to sit on the family table. I wasn't sure if family tables look a bit weird.

I definitely don't want our guests to think we're shoving them out of them way. If anythng, I'd rather spend the day with them than a lot of the adults.

I hate taking the chldren to weddings. The last one we went to we left the children at home, but had to sit at a table with small children and for the entire time we took it it turns to entertain the children. Totally spoilt our enjoyment. So I would stick all the people with children together and leave those without children to have fun!!!

But will the people with children feel like I have stuck them all together?

I think not, if you've mixed up all the other tables too (i.e. haven't put all the childless people in cosy groups of people they already know, but have mixed people who don't know each other on each table).

Also, if a couple just have a small baby (say under 6 months) then I'd be inclined to mix them in with the childfree people rather than in with those with mobile children.

Louandben, only just seen your message, think I must have been posting at the same time.

If I could put everyone with friends I think that would be preferable, but 2 of the 3 families with small children don't know anyone else at the wedding.

I have just tried rearranging it though with all the toddlers on different tables and I think it feels more 'right', maybe because the parents are with people more similar to themselves. However, now this goes against everybody's advice, so I'm not sure...

This is a really tricky one. We ended up at a supposed 'no children wedding' - so we'd had to find an all day and evening babysitter for ours - to then find that ourselves sitting on a table with one other couple and a family with 3 children! Thanks! The family with children were'n't even related and lived nearby - so was a bit peeved.
At the time it struck me as hypocritical and to some extent spoiled the meal part of the day for us....although clearly I don't know what childcare issues they may have had which may have necessitated their attendance.

I hadn't even considered the (very real) possibility of childless guests not wanting to sit with children! Although we have invited everybody's children, so noone will be peeved in the way you were.

God this wedding planning is starting to do my head in!

Go with what feels more "right" to you. You know the people involved; we don't.

I appreciate it's already a nightmare of planning but just thought I'd add: If you know that people have made a decision to get a sitter and not bring their kids I would try and seat them with adults.

Actually, I would hate to be seated at a table with toddlers with or without my (older) kids, but I think I'm just a grumpy old woman who's been doing this parenting thing for far too long

I would try and group the mobile children at the same table and any parents of young babies I would mix around with the adults.

The toddlers should deffo be at the same table and supplied with toys and colouring sets.

Mixing children older than 6 with adult tables is OK also, but I would seat children out of high chairs and under 6 all together.

Try and get a few teens at the toddler and up to 6yo table also so as to provide a bit of 'babysitting' so that the parents can have a little time to relax.

good luck!

After all my planning, I went to the venue yesterday and all the tables are different sizes (which I knew, but they are different to what I thought they were) so I have to start all over again. Agh!