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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

A Joint Birthday Party (5)-we don't know what to do about presents....

17 replies

secretsquirrel1 · 13/11/2008 15:43

Help, we have organised a joint party in January for our DD's. Everything has been organised because we couldn't stand the stress of lost invites in the Christmas rush etc.

Now then, our question is this.....do we say on the invites that we think that a £2 voucher from each child would be fine so that the DD's can buy some books/whatever or do we just leave it?

I was quite appalled at some of the tat that DD was given for her 4th - I don't want the parents to feel that they Have to give a present - and of course, with the C. Crunch and just after Xmas....Please, can anyone help with ideas, suggestions? Has anyone done this before? Thankyou.

OP posts:

ClareVoiant · 13/11/2008 15:54

do you mean there are 5 children having a joint party?

ramonaquimby · 13/11/2008 15:54

it's pretty crass to specify what you want, but understand why you want to.

you could put down ' no presents please!' on the invites if you want to avoid any tat

duckyfuzz · 13/11/2008 16:07

my DTs are having a joint 5th birthday party with another set of twins just before christmas. We are specifying on the invites which child the guest should buy for so they don't have to get 4 presents and their mum and I will buy a couple of extras each so all the birthday DCs get the same number of gifts (does that make sense?!)

Original poster

secretsquirrel1 · 13/11/2008 20:32

No, no - there will be about 40 children in total (if they all turn up)....I should have made it a bit clearer. Now does it make sense? 40 gifts per child....I'm coming out in hives just thinking about it !! I hasten to add, this is the first & last Big Party, from next year it will be a few friends only.

I know it sounds crass to ask, hence why I have posted the question in the first place - I don't want to offend.

The trouble is, both the DD's are in the same reception class but next term they will be swopped about with the other half of the reception year, which stuffs everything up - we thought that it would be less hassle to just invite them all!

Help!!

OP posts:

ClareVoiant · 13/11/2008 21:20

ok,so 2 children having the party,40 invited guests (who presumably know both bithday children)?

worst case scenario,each child brings 2 presents = 80 presents?

even if you did the 'present for only one of the dd's' thats still 20 presents each.

thats a lot of presents. i can see your problem.

tbh, i would just say on the invite 'no presents', especially as its just after christmas. I dont think you can stipulate what people buy or ask for money/vouchers, as thats just cheeky (see numerous threads on people asking for money as a wedding present).

when ds was one,we invited pretty much the whole street to a garden party,we said on the invites 'no presents please,we'd just appreciate the company'or something like it. he did get a few nice presents anyway,but people didnt feel oblidged and we had a good party without a mountain of presents.

dont envy you with 40 5yr olds... what will you do with them

Original poster

secretsquirrel1 · 14/11/2008 10:10

Ha ha!! We aren't stupid - they are all going to be entertained by two 'Funky Chicks' in a church hall!!!

Presently there are 2 reception classes of 15/16 children, and then about 5 friends each from outside school....which will be about 40 if they all turn up. Oh I wish I could re-word my original question - it looks really bad

Ok, think we will go with the 'no presents' thing - IKWYM about 'sounding cheeky with stipulations'

OP posts:

clare21 · 14/11/2008 14:45

A mum I was talking to this morning came up with idea of each guest buying a single present at a shared party, so the same thing that duckyfuzz mentions.

We've got twins in separate reception classes. They've got their party - not shared with another family as I thought they should have their own party just once - in mid Jan - so 30 odd 5 year olds. Tricky as mid Jan and by then their classes will have gone from 15 to 30, but we just can't invite the whole of both classes. As it is I am starting to worry about party bags, and how to do on £1/head without being full of tat. I've posted before about fab bags with a bulb and sweets, but what's the equivalent in Jan?

And you've all made me think about presents. When our twins go to parties they each take a present for the party child. But they don't need 30 presents each, so perhaps I should say please bring a present for x child - how do you say that without being bossy and presumptive on an invitation?

Sorry, lots of waffle.

Original poster

secretsquirrel1 · 15/11/2008 10:20

AAArgh! Extra starters in Jan....That's another reason why we are sending our invites out last week in Nov....We think we may go for 'no presents but if you feel you would like to buy a gift....' line for the 16 in their half of the class and 'no presents, please' for the other half - oh I really don't know how to word it!!

My friend got our party bags on line for £1.25 (I think, certainly less that £1.50) - can't remember the company but she typed in 'party bags' and got a whole load. The contents are good ie. reusable bag, playing cards, water game thing, can't remember the rest. Anyway, I do feel for you clare21 as I have my friend to share the cost of it. Bulbs & sweeties is a fab idea for all those lucky spring party-givers, though!

We got all the invites etc. from the pound shop, and we are going to get little cardboard lunchboxes on line and fill with a little lunch that we will give a choice for on the invite (for veggie/whatever dietary needs)- this will save on waste. We are also going to give the cake as 'dessert' and not in the party bags.

Just a few ideas....

OP posts:

ClareVoiant · 15/11/2008 15:37

oh,a good tip for the party bags for boys, buy a multipack of nice diecast cars (you get 5 for about £3 or 10 for a fiver in tesco etc) and put one car in each bag. that way they get a nice little present that isn't plastic tat, and works out cheaper. couldn't find a good alternative for the girls though, so bought fairy pencils.

serin · 17/11/2008 23:26

Why don't you agree on a charity and collect for them instead. We usually do this as we just don't have the room for tons and tons of presents.

Last party raised about £200 for Unicef.

TsarChasm · 17/11/2008 23:42

I don't think you can say 'no presents' on the invite to childrens birthday parties.

It sounds sort of bleak. I would feel a bit thrown about that and unsure if you meant it, so I'd still bring one.

Sorry, but tat at that age is all the rage. We might not like it, but they do, and it is their party after all.

I would just go with the flow tbh if you have decided to have a very big joint bash.

Original poster

secretsquirrel1 · 18/11/2008 10:14

Agree with both of you -

yes, I'd probably still buy a pressie as well if that was on my dd's invite....and that one parents tat is another childs delight

& even the charity thing, yes I know it should begin at home - but equally could be bleak with absolutely no visual pressies but trying to explain that to a 5 year old....any ideas gratefully received, serin!!

OP posts:

Original poster

secretsquirrel1 · 18/11/2008 10:14

Agree with both of you -

yes, I'd probably still buy a pressie as well if that was on my dd's invite....and that one parents tat is another childs delight

OP posts:

ShrinkingViolet · 18/11/2008 10:19

if you're careful when opening the presents, a lot of the tat can go into Mummy's Special Cupboard and be recycled to everyone else's party. You need to keep the list of who gave what though, so you know who not to give the same present back to (or be really quick with "oh, DD loved it so much that she thought your DD would love it too").

Original poster

secretsquirrel1 · 18/11/2008 12:49

Waaahhhaaa ha ha! I'd only lose them and find them stashed in a hiding place when DD is 15!!!

OP posts:

serin · 18/11/2008 19:22

Well we are from a large family so DD and DS's always get a decent amount from rels, it's not as if they are getting nothing at all!!

With the Unicef thing DS got to spend the money in the Unicef catalogue and he enjoyed picking out baby blankets, magic milk, goats and a bike for a health worker. He is 8 now and still has the gift cards up on his bedroom wall.

For my 40th I want to collect for Alder Hey Hospital who I will be forever grateful to for 'saving' DD when she was little.

ketal · 19/11/2008 20:39

For the party I would send the invite from one child - so that only that child (the invitee) should get the present!

As for cheap party bags - go on to the book people - they're doing Mr Men books - complete set of 43 books for £30 at the mo. You could wrap up one of those and a multipack chocolate bar for under a pound. Personally, I think gifts are nicer than party bag tat anyday - and not necessarily any more expensive iyswim!

HTH

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