Another blardy no kids party invite thread, WWYD?

[MadreInglese]

My aunt is having a big birthday in Dec and has sent a party invite only to me & DP, with a little note that children 12 and over are welcome (DD will be 11 in Jan)

As it's to be a family party this only excludes my DD and one of my cousins (more fool my aunt as DD is very well behaved and two of my cousins aged 13 and 14 who will be going can be little shites and the kind that are likely to trash her cream sofas - why not just do no kids or all welcome??)

We're going to have to decline the invite mostly because all our usual overnight babysitters will be at the party (it's about three hours drive away).

Shall I tell her that we can't go as we can't get DD looked after, or just decline and not give a reason? I'm a little miffed that DD is not invited (her daughters, my cousins, are 14 and 16 and have always been welcome at our family dos) but I don't want to start a big feud by mentioning it (our family is prone to grumbling feuds)

WWYD?

Do you want to go?

is she inviting lots of non family? In which case, the children exclusion could be because of them? And you can have dispensation as family?

I've never understood banning children from family parties personally, but that's just me. I look forward to our family getting bigger and bigger with little ones running riot as me and my siblings have more children.

Yeah we'd like to go, but it's too far to drive back that night so we'd need a hotel, and so need DD putting up overnight somewhere, and tbh it would be weird turning up to a family do without DD

I would mention the reason. Not giving a reaon may be seen as rude.

How can family do that? If anyone in my family would do that, it would cause the 3WW!!

Appalling!

Just family and a few friends AFAIK as there's not room for many more in their house (big family)

I understand of course that sometimes people want an adult-only party, but just over 12s is odd IMO

I would give her a phone and ask if it applies to your dd and if it does say you'll not be able to make it then, as no babysitters

I would be honest. Are you sure she hasn't got confused about your daughter's age? If she is confused she can invite your daughter.

You don't have to say that you are miffed. I don't think its wrong to exclude children from parties - life is too short to get cross about it. However, a host who does decide to exclude children must realise that this will mean that some of the invitees won't be able to attend.

Ah, good point Flier & MmePlat

Think I'll call and check, she may think DD will be 12 by then

12 seems an odd limit to set - what's the difference between an almost 11 year old and a 12 year old for such an occasion? I think I'd be almost tempted to just turn up, but I suppose it's sensible to find out.

Can someone else in your family ask her about it, like whichever of your parents is her sibling?

I've just had an email from my aunt sent "to all non-repliers" (after 1 week FFS!)

It says to remember that it's teenagers and adults only, and dress code is fancy dress only.

Fancy dress only?? Sod that for a lark.

I have just politely replied to say sorry we can't make it, hope you have a great party, blah blah. I know I should say what I really mean but I can't be arsed with any family fall out.