a quick question about party / present etiquitte

[giddly]

DD1 is at pre-school with a little girl who we don't know particularly well, and I don't really know the mother. She was invited and came to DD party. She's now kindly invited DD to her party but we can't make it. If we were going we would bring a present (as she did for my DD), but if we can't come would you still give a gift? Is there an etiquette on this? I don't mind getting her something at all, but don't want to seem OTT.

we only give presents if we attend the party unless it's someone we see outside of preschool/school etc

Sorry that should be etiquette in the title

I don't get a gift if they don't go to the party. I have not received gifts from kids who could not come to dd's parties either. I don't think you need to.

I usually give a little present and a home-made card. Kids love birthdays so much!

My view on this is that that no present is expected but would always be gratefully received!

(Books are always great and you can get good ones under a fiver so not OTT imo.)

I think standard practice is to not give a present if your DC can't attend the party, unless the two children are particularly close friends (i.e. close enough that you'd be buying a present even if there wasn't a party at all).

Thanks for the ideas. I've decided to go with a small one as her party was so shortly after DDs.