how can i make this nice for everyone?

[stroppyknickers]

DS (6) is having a theatre party - 10 children and two supervising mums incl me. No babies, toddlers, all 5 plus. One mum was a bit worried her ds would be ok, and has booked tickets with another mum near to 'my' row. How do I
a) ensure the party stays as ds's party and not just an outing
b) interval drinks - I was going to order 10 lemonades and two coffees, do I add the other mums?
c) flashy things - if they buy for theirs what do I do? I have done party bags for later and can't afford ten flashy things.
d) travel - I had organised this, do I let them take their owns dcs back to mine or make the dcs join in the group?
etc. Don't want to upset anyone, but do want it to be like I planned.

bump - sensible advice please!

trying one last time....diplomatic answers please

I think I would say to the other mothers just what you have said here.

I would buy them a coffee but if I was them I would say I would buy my own.

It is tricky if they do buy flashy things for their child but you could just say to the children that there are party bags at the end and so just say 'No' to the cheap tacky stuff.

What are you going to see?

I would say
a) ehhhhmmm, thinking about that one.
b) no you don't add the other mums, they are there because they are overprotective. If they should have offered to help you instead, and if they do that then yes you should buy for them as well.
c) no flashy things for anyone. If they start buying, tell them that they will have to give their children the flashy things once they are at home. This is your son's party not theirs.
d) They should go with you. Again if they are willing to help out then they should offer. They are being extremely rude going without offering to help. They are basically supervising you, which is very condescending in my opinion.

Talk to the other mums!

I'd thank them for offering to help out (ha ha), and then invite them for a coffee to discuss the organisation.

So say: I'm going to order 10 lemonades and two coffees, could you give me a hand fetching them please, and add your own drinks if you like'

and say 'I'm not getting any flashy things. It does so distract from the performance I find' .

They'd be rude to cut across you when you've explained it - and you might appreciate extra helpers for toilet runs etc.

thanks guys. to be fair they did say we are sitting close so we will be able to help, but i felt a bit patronised - i had organised help already - so i said i didn't need any. just v concerned that because two mummys are there, my plans will get over ruled and two of them will pretty much be at the panto with their mum rather than being part of the group.

will talk to them in advance.