Would you let your 8/9 year old go to a sleepover?

[kslatts]

It's dd1's 9th birthday in September and she really wants a sleepover. My niece is going to be staying the weekend of her birthday and I know a couple of friends will be allowed to come as they have stayed over before, but she wants to invite a few girls from school and I don't want dd to be disappointed if none of them are allowed to come.

I'm thinking maybe I should put a note in with the invitation offering parents the choice to pick them up at about 9pm if they are not comfortable with them staying the night.

As long as the girls know you, I would n't have a problem at that age.

My DD-9 had sleepovers last year and this year. Most of her friends were allowed to come, one or two others were picked up by their parents at about 9 or 10pm, which was fine with me too. I made sure my older DSs were out for the overnight so parents wouldn't feel funny. Also, the parents all know me at least a little bit and I've got several CRB checks for work I do with children. The girls all had great fun.

A friend of my dd is having a sleepover for her 6th birthday! My dd is 7 but I wouldn't let her go. I'm not worried about a safety issue or crb checks at all but I just think she's too young especially as she's only been to this girl's house once before. Am worried she'd spend half the night crying.

Guess for most parents it would depend how well they think their dd would cope with it. I'd like to think by 8 or 9 then my dd would be ok with it.

LOL at CRB checks for parents

This is about the age it suddenly seems to be viable/permitted IME
If you do not already know the parents well I think popping a note in to that effect in the invite is very good idea
If I didn't already know the host family I would want to have a general chat with them first, so that they knew me and I knew them IYSWIM. I would probably not allow him to go to a house where I did not have a knowledge of who else lived there, I have to say.
Ds loved his first sleepover!

Yes, I would.

Yes I would allow my DD to, but only to the houses of parents I know.
Don't have to know them particularly well, but have to at least have spoken to them at school or something.
Most of DD's friend's mums do reading and other class help with them anyway so she'd know them which would be important to me.

Good grief yes. My DC have done sleep overs since reception.

My dd went for sleepovers from age 3.

Yes it hadn't occurred to me not to let her.

Yes, but I would want to know the Mum, and as Marina says, who else / what else (dogs...well trained?) lived there and whether the household is generally a safe place.

I don't mean I would go round to conduct a risk assessment, but there are one or two 'second tier' friends that I wouldn't be wild about hosting DS overnight, for various reasons.

DD had sleepover for her 8th birthday but I knew the mums of all the girls who stayed and I think I would only let DD go to a sleepover if I knew the parents.

DS has been involved in reciprocal sleepovers with good schoolfriends since he was 6.

Yes, good point, Blu. Thinking about it, DD1 has only slept over at the homes of a couple of really good friends whose parents I knew already.

Oh yes, was assuming that I would know the parents, would want her to be a bit older if I didn't.

Thanks for your replies, I think I'll go for it. I know the parents of the children she will be inviting to talk to and most of the children she has mentioned came to her party last year.

I would prefer to wait until they are about to start secondary school. When Ds is 9 I would probably refuse because I couldn't bear the thought of having to host sleepovers for a bunch of 9 year olds!

When I was that age I only had sleepovers with family, staying at friends houses didn't really happen until we were in senior school.

We have had 2 of ds' friends overnight and went well because children knew us so well and they were confident children. Ds has never stayed at theirs as even though he knows them well he would not be comfortable without us there. He is just about to turn 4, other children were almost 5 and just 3.

Adding to the chorus of 'if I know the mother well'. I used to love sleepovers at my best friend's house from around this age, but wouldn't have been allowed to go to a strange house for one. I think that's a reasonable principle.