Were these mums rude at my son's small birthday outing?

[GroovyChick30]

I decided to do a small birthday trip to a soft play plus mcdonalds for my sons birthday and invited 3 school friends, plus my sons his brother.
One of the mums I was good friends with for a while but she became friends with another mum at school who I would say is a bad influence and since then we have not spoke as much.
Now at my sons party I just wondered if this seemed a bit rude.
I payed for everything but when we got there this mum started moaning saying they tried to charge her for socks for the trampoline/soft play and wasn't that included.
They was included as I had already payed for them and the lady at the till double checked and then gave them. But if they wasn't included they are like £2 I wouldn't moan about that if someone is paying for my child to go out.
Next they both went and bought a drink together without asking me at the soft play. I wouldn't mind if it was lots of people and but I was the only other mum there as the other parent was coming back to pick up and I actually was looking for them to ask if their child would like a slush puppie. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay but it would be nice to let me know incase I wanted to join them.
Then I asked if their children would like a slush puppie as I was buying my sons one and they both said yes and then one of the mums was worried (I heard them gossiping so I said sorry I completely forgot) about her daughter having it as there are new rules about slush puppies. I actually went and tried the worker to ask if that ingredient was in these ones and she said it wasnt on the ingredient list but she can double check with the manager. Then when I found out they said they had drunk them and thrown them away which there is no way they drank them that quick, they had obviously got rid of them.
It annoyed me a bit as someone else could of had it.
They also turned up with no card or present (I have bought a present for both their birthday parties).
Then we went McDonald's and I payed but one of the two mums went and bought themsleves both a Mcflurry and didn't say anything to me just bought it over and didn't say anything.
If it was me I would of atleast said to the third person we are going to get a mcflurry.
I just feel like it was all a bit rude. I was quite good friends with this lady before I bought her daughter ice creams at the school van when she didnt have change (she always gave me loose change back). My nan made teddies my son took in and gave to her, our children used to send video messages
But since she has become friends with this other mum it all stopped. I have just not payed any attention and said hello to them when I see them but it was all a bit off and now this has made me feel a bit upset especially as it was my sons birthday and we only invited 3 people.
Would you feel the same?

you come across as absolutely lovely. Don’t let those rude women upset, or change, you x

What a vile pair, this other mum sounds toxic and more fool your ex friend for being sucked in. I hope you send her away with a flea in her ear when this so called friendship falls apart.

Whatever you do you sound like a lovely kind person and did not deserve to be treated like this. Hopefully you will be able to give them a wide berth and do things very differently next year.

@Happyjoe thank you!

@Foxglovex thank you so much, it means a lot knowing I'm not over thinking things

@Shouldgivethisup thank you so much x

@DingleDungle I am not sure on the sock thing. I did ask if they was happy for me to buy their child a slush before buying them and they said yes and I went and asked if the ingredient that they don't recommend to be in the one for under a certain age was included and they said it was not in the ingredients. My children are 7 and 10 and it was a one off treat so I was happy for them to have one. I know a lot of places since the new rules don't add that ingredient but I was happy to buy a different drink or to leave it as we all had water which is why I asked before.

@CBAwithallthethings thank you!

OP it sounds like you planned a really nice party with lots of treats and you were very thoughtful making sure the slushy drink was safe and ordering one for everyone.

my son had a 3 friend party one year and it remains in my memory as one of his best parties. He has a mid summer birthday and often other children were away

now those two were rude, exclusionary, and who would ever leave a birthday gift at home when actually attending the party?
a mean girl is who! And someone teaching their child all the wrong ways to be a guest.

And really! going off to buy themselves a drink and then a Mcslurry and not offering you one? Absolute mean girl who has grown into a petty mean woman.

not your friends op

This - who attends a child's party and does not bring even a card and small present, rude and mean.
Glad your DS had a good time

These women sound horrible and rude. I'd say you are better off without them.
You sound lovely and your boy had a lovely time, that's the main thing.
You'll have much better friends in time x

It is so rude OP but please don't take it personally. I've noticed that some Mums drop a friend (me in the past!) if they get another new one. It's done, hurt a little at the time but actually quite pleased it happened now as made some lovely new ones myself. I realised I wasn't 'in' enough and can see it now with how much her life revolves around FB and making sure others can see her life.
Just be glad it happened and opened your eyes and as I said, don't take it personally, they would have done it with anyone.

They didn't buy your son a present or card. Rotten pair of bitches.

You sound really nice and incredibly thoughtful, OP - you thought of everything for the party!

I really can not get over the fact they came to a party without a card! If they can afford McFlurrys and expensive coffees it’s clear they could afford a small gift! I’d be so upset , I really feel sorry for your child! I’d definitely encourage him to play with other children and invite others next year.

the mum’s sound awful, so awful I’d just forget them and not give them space in my head!

I’m very sorry to hear this OP and yes their behaviour was hideous. Don’t worry about it, it’s all on them. Say nothing but stay away from them, especially when their inevitable fallout happens and the original friend needs an audience!!

I think this is a bit half a dozen of one, 6 of another. Not bringing a present is rude. If money was very tight there are cheap things to give a young kid. Making a rude vibe in general isn’t nice - which it sounds like there was.

But I don’t think buying themselves drinks or ice cream is weird. I usually buy a round of drinks for the parents as the birthday parent. But if the birthday parent doesn’t offer then parents of guests would normally go and buy one. That would be the absolute norm amongst the (many!) kids parties I’ve been to here.