Birthday present or not

[Oddysea]

A friend has their 65th birthday soon and her husband has organised a party for her at a local pub inviting around 40 friends. It is not a surprise party she knows about it. We were thinking of having a collection to buy her a joint present to give to her on the night but not sure if she might be embarrassed by this. I have asked her husband and he is not sure as his wife generally does not like being centre of attention. Not sure the best thing to do. Organise a joint present or let every guest do their own thing

Club together for a John Lewis voucher for her.

I'd hate an organised gift otherwise, and 40 individual potted plants wouldn't be great either.

I’d sooner have a joint present if it is something that I wanted. Otherwise you get a load of stuff you don’t really want. Do you know what you would buy? Why has he organised a party if she doesn’t like being the centre of attention?

everyone could get gift vouchers but personally as a guest I don’t like to be corralled into what to do so I’d just organise my own

My friend was gifted a life size cut out of Freddie Mercury for her 50th, I’d rather have that than a John Lewis voucher.

A few of us asked her husband what he was planning for her birthday and so he asked his wife and she thought it would be great to meet up with a few friends but the numbers just got bigger than expected because they didn’t want to exclude anyone!

I think a few of you clubbing together to get a voucher sounds great john lewis or similar is a good shout - lots of choice. She can then enjoy perusing and choosing something - and maybe spend more than she would have normally. And it doesn't have to be immediately. Better than getting loads of bits. For my 50th a few friends clubbed together and got me a restaurant voucher (valid for a year), and then got some bottles of champagne, and a nice mini rose plant. So mostly consumables, which i preferred to lots of bits that I might not want/like/use!!

If it's doable I think a collective present might work better than 40 bunches of flowers/vouchers/chocolate/bottles etc

For a friends 60th a group of us clubbed together and she received a voucher for the watersports shop she uses and had a decent amount to buy stuff she uses for kayaking

If she's the type that likes jewellery of has a specific hobby or something it could work really well and be very appreciated

I’ve looked at a few threads on here and a John Lewis voucher seems like a good call. I think if I asked every couple to contribute £25 that would not be too intimidating for anyone and would be enough to buy a voucher of decent value and also get everyone to sign a card.

We’ve come up with the perfect solution .. a bunch of flowers on the night plus a card and envelope from everyone with a John Lewis gift card inside to open when she gets home.