How to gently state "no siblings"

[Peachykween]

My daughter is turning 5 in a few months and she's already been to quite a few class parties this school year, so we are hosting a whole class party too.

The company I've booked for the entertainment have stated that the booking is strictly for 25-30 children. For another £50 I can go up to 40 children.

The class size is 30 and I expect almost all to come to the party (this has been the case for the other parties she's been to where only the odd one or two kids haven't come).

At previous parties, one or two little siblings have come but as they are babies / toddlers, they've not really joined in.
However there is one mum who, in addition to the classmate, has a 3 year old and a 2 year old and for every party she has asked (openly in the class WhatsApp group) if the siblings can also attend. They party host has always said yes.

Every party invite so far has been digital and put into the class WhatsApp group, so that's what I'm planning to do. I'm just not sure how to gently say that siblings aren't welcome to the party 😕
I don't want it to seem like it's obviously directed to her, as she's the only one who's consistently asked before.

Even if not all 30 kids can make the party, I have other non-school children I'd extend an invite too.

Thanks

Just put something like "sorry, no siblings this time" near the bottom of the invite and if she asks, say it to her as well. That's what I did with one party where numbers were very strict and extra kids would have cost £26 each. People shouldn't be inviting their kids to your party anyway, it's a bit CF really.

No need to be gentle about it. Just say it. ‘No siblings or extras please’ on the invite. It’s rude and cheeky to assume they can come.

Previous post is perfect "sorry, not siblings this time" as it shows you don't think it is unreasonable to ask.

You dont need to pussy foot around

X is 5 party at X
Sorry - No, siblings are not able to join due to size of event

Just say that numbers are limited so no siblings please.

Where is it? Could you put sorry no siblings at the party because of number limits, but siblings are welcome to go to the park next door etc?

This is a good response, generic and does not point the finger at anyone

This. Direct and clear.

I wouldn't be putting any "sorry" on it - why should you be apologising to people who would like to be CFs?!

Don't do it gently. Be firm or people will take the piss.

"Due to the nature of the booking there is a strict limit on numbers so the invitation is restricted to the named children and siblings cannot be accommodated"

A few may be unable to come if they don't have alternative child care. You might want to say under 1yo is fine as they won't be participating.

I find it bizarre that some parents view a party as free childcare for all their siblings. I wouldn't say sorry either just no siblings as numbers are limited. If it's awkward the parent declines

This

Just say "numbers are strictly limited at the venue" or similar

However, my husband was away a lot when the children were little and it was often a choice of bring a sibling or not go at all. Thankfully I lived in an area where it was quite normal for husbands to be away so the other parents understood. There may be a good reason she has to bring them all and that's why people are understanding? Would you be happy for parents to drop off and leave their child if they can't stay with siblings?

We just said ‘sorry no siblings’ on the invitation and said the same if anyone asked.

@madamweb true but there are also lots of CF's who just turn up with all the kids and sometimes husbands too!

Yeah that's fair. And I did always pay for entry for my younger child if it was a paid entry place. And I couldn't "drop and run" because my son had severe allergies. So the only alternative would have been for him to never go to parties

Thanks all! I know I need to be firmer... it's one of those where the majority of mums already knew each other from the Nursery so I'm a bit of an "outsider". Very small school, small area, tight-knit etc. so been feeling wary of saying it in a PC way!

Short and sweet always best - no space for siblings this time.

I expect you’ll find that the other parents who said yes to siblings did so because they didn’t feel they could say no.

It’s best to be proactive and firm. ‘Sorry, we are unable to accommodate siblings for this party’ or similar and then repeat if asked.

I have two young children, a partner who works away a lot and no family nearby so I completely understand that it can be very difficult logistically. But often the people who bring singling aren’t ones in that position.

Sorry , strictly no siblings as numbers have been confirmed in advance.