Birthday party invitations - who to invite?

[ichineeyou]

I have a sensitive child who wants a small birthday party for their 7th birthday. For the activity they have chosen, we can only have 13 guests.

I feel that we should invite their close friends and children whose parties they have been to already but my child is adamant that they don’t want a certain child whose party they attended because they find them domineering and bossy.

I know the parents of this child will be disappointed if we don’t invite them and I’ll probably have to deal with the fall out at the school gates.

Do I teach my child about tolerance and say it’s good to return the invitation just so I don’t receive the cold shoulder from these parents, or do respect my child’s wishes and let my child be happy with the guests that they have specifically chosen?

Surely you can invite who you want to your own party?

Yes @LottieMary , the problem is I want to invite them but my child does not.

These parents have been very vocal in the past about how they think any one not having a full class party is terrible as they’re excluding children. They are also hospitable and hate the idea of drop off parties so always accommodate parents and siblings too.

i just dislike the thought of disappointing them. How can I tactfully say my child doesn’t get on with yours if they ask me or mention it?

Just say you/the venue didn't have enough space.

So you'd rather disappoint your child so you remain on the in with these awful people?

They invited your kid cos they had an all class party, not because they want to be their bff&e.

Oi, wench, why is my Thermodore not invited to your terrible-for-others party, you hard-hearted witch??
Oh sorry Jezebel, we're only doing a small thing this year so he was only able to pick a few friends he's closest with. Maybe we'll go big next year! Bye

You don’t have to invite someone to a party just because they invited you.
You don’t have to do a whole class party either.

I would invite who dd wants unless there’s 15 in the class in which case you need to pay for the 15th person.

Next time you’ll know to decline this child’s party invite.

If you insist then you risk dd saying no to any party at all.

She can invite who she likes. This is even easier if the unwanted girls party was a big one.
if it wasn’t, then you should explain to your daughter that it might mean in future she isn’t invited to play dates and parties by this girl as she maybe upset that she wasn’t invited .But you shouldn’t insist.

if you were having a big hall party with unlimited kids and she only wanted to invite 28 of her class then I’d insist on all 30
beimg invited, but that’s not the case here .

13 guests is not a small birthday party. Actually sticking to a small number would make it clear to others that you've only invited closest friends.

I don't think "inviting back" makes sense for children's birthday parties, or those with birthdays at the end of the year or who had parents who couldn't afford parties would never get invited to anything.

Let your child invite who he wants. A parent who will fall out with you over a children's birthday party is not your friend, and not worth you worrying about.

At 7 your child is old enough to inform you who they wish to have invited.

Thanks all for your replies.

I’m going to let my child lead with the guest list as I want them to be happy.

I will feel bad as the parents are overly friendly and nice, but if their attitude changes toward me, it is what it is.