Children's Birthday Party RSVPs

[SianLouise13]

Hello,

Looking for a little bit of advice. (little FYI, I'm quite an anxious person so I may be worrying unnecessarily)
This year is the first time we are doing a birthday party for my daughter with her school friends.
In her school, in Yr 1 there are 3 classes each of about 30 children so there was no way that I was going to invite everyone. She chose 13 children that are her friends / she plays with most to invite. We wrote out the invites and instead of her handing them out to the children (to avoid unnecessary upset to the not-invited kids) the teacher put them into their book bags.
It's been almost 2 weeks and we've only had 3 people come back to confirm they can come, and 1 say they can't make it.
Now, there's 4 days left for them to respond (I asked them to respond by 3rd June) and as it's half term I thought we may get a few more replies but I've still heard nothing.
We've hired a hall and bouncy castle etc. and now I'm worried that there will only be 3 school friends plus my daughter.

So I guess my question is, is it normal to not receive RSVPs until right up to the last day? Am I worrying unnecessarily (like my husband says) or should I say something to the teacher when they are back to school next week?

I don't have any of the mums numbers so I can't even reach out and make sure that they've seen the invite.

Any perspective would be good, please.

Thanks :)

You will need to chase at drop off if you can, and tell your DD to chase direct with her friends if possible. There's no guarantee all parents have bothered to check their child's book bags. The child might also be unaware they've been invited if invites have just been put into book bags.

Some parents are just crap at RSVPing. Either too busy and forget or just too rude to simply say they can't make it.

I'm also doing a party for the first time for my DS in Y1 and I'm also a bit anxious about the whole thing. I've heard plenty from other parents how annoying the whole RSVP thing can be.

Thanks for responding, I'll chase up when I do the school run on Tuesday. I thought speaking to the teacher might be easier as she'll know the parents and I might not catch them. At least then she can have a quiet word with them and it might feel less confrontational (something else that makes me feel anxious.)
I'll also speak to DD about asking her friends to get their parents to check their bags that evening.

Honestly, I thought planning a wedding was meant to be difficult when I did that a few years ago but this feels worse! I think the main thing is worrying about having a heartbroken DD because no-one shows up / having to cancel to try and recoup some costs.

Oh isn't it just so annoying! We did a whole class party for our reception child this year and it was like pulling teeth trying to get RSVP's from people! We did end up with a good amount - a fair few just didn't respond at all, one girl came who's parents notoriously never RSVP so I was expecting her! Are you on half term this week? I'd have said if you see anyone at drop off or pickup, maybe just say oh did you get the invite? But that won't work if there's no school between now and then. We have a whatsapp group, we tend to send the invites in there too, but still nobody replies that hasn't already! I did invite a couple of out of school friends and siblings of those who had RSVP'd, which made up the numbers a bit. So annoying though, I feel your pain.

Yes, unfortunately it's half term this week - didn't plan that very well did I?! I will try and catch some of the parents when I do the school run on Tuesday.
She does have her 2 cousins coming so there will be 5 children plus the birthday girl and we've invited a couple of our friend's children that she gets on with so hopefully they can come to make up some of the numbers.

Unfortunately, only 1 boy has responded though so I'm hoping a couple more turn up otherwise I feel like that might be a bit awkward!

Parents are generally crap at RSVPing. Have a few more party bags than number of expected guests. Assume that not RSVPing can mean the child won't be coming/will be coming/will be coming and bringing along 2 uninvited siblings.

Don't worry if only a few kids turn up, it will still be loads of fun.

Thanks, I'll make sure that there are enough party bags & food etc. I just didn't know if maybe I should cancel it and do something smaller if there are only a small handful of kids coming. A big hall and bouncy castle seem a bit extreme / expensive for 6 kids but my DD will be disappointed if I cancel so I guess they'll be very lucky kids with lots of room to play!

I remember those days OP and it is annoying and I’m glad they’re behind me now! You’ll probably still get replies one r the next few days and there might even be people that don’t get back to you at all but turn up at the party!

Hope you get most replies soon

Thanks, I'm hoping that more come in maybe over the weekend as they prepare everything for back to school so fingers crossed!
Why does it feel like it was easier when I was at school and having birthday parties? (Although I went to a village school with about ten kids in one class so maybe that's why?!)

Yes the whole rsvp thing is a massive pain! We did most of it via class WhatsApp (only 1 class and everybody invited) but appreciate that's not going to work in your situation.

You need to chase up. I don't think you can ask the teacher to chase though, it's not their job. Putting invites on bags is all you can really ask them for.

I was that parent who didn't rsvp recently though - my youngest got a nursery party invite. I lost it at home (still hasn't turned up) and couldn't remember the child's name on it, let alone any contact details for the parents. I felt really bad for not responding - normally I take a photo of party notes but that time I forgot.

Thanks, yeah I will start to chase up on Tuesday when I do the school run. Hopefully I can catch them / see who's who as it's sometimes chaos!

I thought only inviting a few kids would be simple, never thought it would be stressful haha!

Did you do any chasing today @SianLouise13 ? DS handed his invites out today and I'm dreading having to awkwardly chase up RSVPs.

I had a couple more replies since this thread, I even had someone reply late last night! I managed to chase one person today (as I had her number from RSVPing to her sons birthday last year)
Was going to try and catch another but thought it was a bit weird to chase her after she went the other way to me outside the playground 😂 I’m going to try again tomorrow.
Good luck, I never thought it would be this difficult to arrange a child’s birthday! 😂

I wonder if everyone knows what RSVP means.

Good to hear that there have been more responses. That's reassuring!

I fear I will be that mum chasing after parents in the playground next week 🙃

Yeah, it’s been a slog but we’re getting there. I’ve decided I’m only going to chase 2 of the parents just to try and balance out the boys/girls. After that I’m not going to chase. There’s 7 outstanding and to be honest I don’t fancy chasing 7 mums or dads around the playground to get an answer 😂