Playdates - what would you do in this situation?

[lisalisa]

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I would probably offer to buy her a new pair or for the ones she has bought.
Or buy some yourself or maybe a little outfit.

If you offer to pay for the ones she bought she may just tell you its ok.

Could your dd have put them in her wardrobe or drawers?

The shoes must be in the house somewhere. But if I felt I'd looked everywhere, then I'd offer to pay for the new shoes.

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You've checked the washing machine and drier? inside toys that have space for a shoe or two? the washing basket? inside other shoes? the bin? ...

..thinking of other places dd's shoes have turned up. She's a fiend for posting them!

I would tell the mum very apologetically that we had searched high and low and would continue to do so. I would offer to pay for new shoes, but I would expect that she would say no. How old is the child?

Could the other girl have worn them home by mistake?

I would offer to pay before you get an outfit - afterall if she is hard up she may need to say yes! If you just hand over an outfit then she may feel really peeved that she has had to pay for a new pair and, instead of helping with the cost, she now has an outfit that she may not want/like/need!

Imagine the post on here, "After playdate my DD's shoes were lost, the Mum says she has looked and so I have had to buy a new pair - I am so hard up at the moment too . Then, today, the Mum shows up with an outfit from [insert shop name] which is a lovely gesture but I could really have done with the money towards the shoes, what do I do now!"

I was going to suggest the bin too. My dses (esp ds2) often put things in the bin.... it's now the first place I look when we lose something.

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My dd was at a friend's for tea and the dog ate one of her shoes. The mum didn't offer to pay for a new pair and only said a very passing sort of sorry. I probably wouldn't have accepted the money if she had offered, but I still feel slightly miffed that she didn't even offer 3 years later! So you most definitely did the right thing.

Have you looked in the washing machine? In the garden? In the bathroom? Did they dress up at all - if so in the dressing up box inside a pair of inside out trousers?

And now, can someone tell me where dd's scout jumper is?

Dd lost her shoes at gym (of course the only week dh took her) - he and ALL the other mums scoured the gym, the gym staff did a really thorough check after they'd closed, and they never turned up.

I think you've done all you can - just keep looking. Does your dd have any little bags or anything like that? Or cupboards, or the washing machine, behind a machine?

Why not buy her a really cheap ridiculous pair of shoes, like sparkly ones from Primark or Peacocks or something, by way of gesture? THey're only 8 quid or something.

have you tried the younger sisters friend? It wouldn't be the first time the wrong shoes were picked up by a visitor.... ours were larger though - FIL went home in my DH's shoes!!

Offer the mum money for the shoes.

My DS lost his shoes at home and I thought I looked high and low for them, I waited two weeks before buying a replacement pair and a week later the lost pair turned up on top of the bunk bed in his room that no one sleeps on

Did the other girl where them home? Look inside everything!