My daughters upcoming first birthday

[Totes90]

Hi All,

looking for some advice to see if I am being unreasonable or not.

my MIL wants to throw my daughter her own birthday party for her first birthday before her birthday. With his family and I won't be there.

me and my MIL fell out in July of last year and haven't spoken since. She said I was a bad person for my taking my daughter on holiday to Turkey because it's too hot. Of course I was never going to let her come to any harm and was going to ensure she was well shaded and always cool. I never considered a holiday to be a form of punishment. If she would have voiced her concerns in the correct way I would have offered her some reassurance however she used it as an opportunity to attack me.

since that we haven't spoken. To be fair to her she does a lot for my daughter and you can see she dotes on her. She has her Monday and Tuesday while me and the OH work. Due to this I feel I have to be lenient and have allowed her to throw her own Halloween party before Halloween, so she had that first. I also allowed the same at Christmas. She had her Christmas Christmas Eve. This year for the baby's first Christmas it was a nightmare for my OH as he had to go to the MIL on Christmas Day so she could see the baby separating us as a family.

She's now rang my OH and said she wants to throw the baby her own 1st birthday the weekend before her birthday and have all his family there and I've said no. My OH said I'm being unreasonable and he doesn't see the issue and that he won't be going anyway it will just be the rest of the family.

I already said a few weeks ago we will be celebrating the baby's 1st birthday at home and everyone is welcome to pop around at a time of their choice to see her. I haven't excluded his MIL and advised the OH to extend this invite to her. I've also advised she can throw her her own party after her birthday but my OH is just saying what's the difference in her doing it before.

am I being unreasonable, I'd just like one of my baby's 1sts and her first birthday is obviously a big deal to me?

[Greenflamesburn]

Remind your husband that the baby is his daughter, his mother's granddaughter, not his little sister.

You sound like you have been very accommodating so far. Keep the offer of her to pop around at the party you will be throwing.
No to the party before. I'd make plans for the weekend she is thinking. Book the zoo, aquarium, a play date with your sister's, mate's, uncle's twins, anything.

Good Luck. Stick to your boundaries as her mother you have the right to throw her first birthday party.