how to celebrate ds's success in gaining admission to secondary school?

[pukkapatch]

we always celebrate their birthdays,yet that isnt something they have acheived is it?
howcan iclebrate this? the asian thing to do is to do a great big dinner/lunch for everyone we know.but, ds finds them boring. wlthough he will probly,enjoy getting presents on the day.
if we do it at home, i have to get a marquee. and those cost a fortune dont they?
what entertainment can i put on?
any suggestins please

Wouldn't that be a bit over the top? And how would his friends feel if they didn't get in?

I'd be a bit wary of making it a huge celebration with lots of people.

When ds passed his 11 plus we bought him a gift and a card and that was it, as none of his friends passed and it would have felt like crowing to have thrown a party.

I just said "Well done", and left it at that.

we went to town and bought his blazer and tie and had kfc ........

ask her what she wants, maybe day in town, pizza etc with a few mates

I think DD1 just got a pat on the back. But then I'm mean like that.

is it a selective school? In which case, a small gift (fountain pen?). If it's just a "luck of the draw" school, then he didn't really achieve anything, and I think a party is WAY over the top

But, tissy, you could argue that if the selection is working properly the selective school will be finding the children with the most potential, rather than those who have worked hard at practice tests etc. In which case, it's down to ability rather than achievement, therefore no celebration is called for. And I wouldn't spend too much on the pen, given what most Year 7 boys are like.

Bear in mind, some of his friends will be finding out this week they didn't get their 1st choice state school, or even their 2nd. So a big celebration could be a bit insulting. A pat on the back. Will be plenty of exam success coming up that can be rewarded.

a marqueeeeeeeeeeee! omg! hwo funny

its a selective school, and yes, big acheivement. much much bigger than having a birthday or living through a christmas.
yes, it is crowing, but, only in the way that having a wedding is crowing. you want to celebrate your happiness with your friends and family.
maybe it is just an asian thing then. most of the people i know did have a big party when their dc got into selective schools, though not all.
i dont particularly want a marquee as it will be too expensive, but not sure how else to fit so many people into the house. if it was summer, then they could happily spill into the garden. but it isnt.

ds has worked sooooo hard for this, that he deserves a celebration. a pat on the back is rather like putting a plaster on a broken leg. not quite adequate. a fountain pen he would lose or break within the week, which is why i always now get him the cheapest that whsmith does. but the idea is an excellent one, just no good for ds.

what would your asian friends and relatives epxect?

thats it really. i didnt think about having a big party, its been a few years now sinc ei have enven enetertained properly. only two working burners and no oven meant it was a bit difficult to do any major cooking.
most of my asian friends expect a big party. a lot of them have asked about it. from simple asking all the way to major telling off for not celebrating his acheivemen.
i'm a bit reluctant because
a i havent done a big party for a few years now
b the kids are older, and need room. and 11 is a very difficult age to entertain. at least i have no ideas. when they were younger, i would just get in a bouncy castle, big meal, and the adults could dance away the afternoon, if they wanted to. but not really suitable for the age the kids are now.
c no sofa's in front room means limited seating. with no garden because of the winter, i dont know where to let people sit.
d food is the only thing i am not worried about. i'd get a lot of it catered and do a few bits an dbpieces myself. it would all be buffet. no alcohol either, so no worries about that.
e as far as his friends at school are concerned, his birthday is in april, so he can have a party this year ( he didnt last year, we went to disneyland instead) and that can be a joint thing.
f dh not exactly being proactive abou t this.

can your relatives who expect the party help with it ?

relatives, they will help make tea etc, stack the dirty dishes etc. but not moneywise, but i wouldnt expect them to help money wise.
friends will defintily help out. from helping with cleaning before hand, to keeping things running o n the day and keeping conversations going. but not really with enetertaingin the kids.
i guess i need to speak to dh a b it more. and i guess it is a cultural thing then...