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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

Daughters party invite list

18 replies

Mummy3decades · 02/04/2023 20:32

my daughter is having an 8th birthday party soon ,her first proper party , she is a popular wee girl and gets on with everyone in her class , apart from one girl , she is pretty rough with kids in the class , she has been in my daughters class since p1 , having a chat about the party list my daughter was adamant this girl was not getting invited , and she was pretty upset about it , I have told her if one girl can’t come then she needs to shorten her list and take some other girls off the list, did i do the right thing ? What have other parents done in this situation ? Thanks

OP posts:
Onehappymam · 02/04/2023 20:33

Whole class, or a select few.

Gymmum82 · 02/04/2023 20:35

I wouldn’t leave out one child. They don’t usually have whole class parties at 8. That’s more a reception/year 1 thing. I’d tell her to pick her 10 best friends or something and that’s how many she could have

baxtersm · 02/04/2023 20:35

I honestly couldn't leave out just own child regardless of their behaviour, either the whole class or just a few close friends!

BettyOBarley · 02/04/2023 20:36

I agree, don't just leave one out

Eatentoomanyroses · 02/04/2023 20:38

Yes. You do either a select few or all the girls

SBAM · 02/04/2023 20:39

My DD is a little younger (Y1) but it seems that invites this year have been either whole class, all the boys/all the girls, or a select number of friends which was under half the class.

Generally the hall/entertainer/bouncy castle parties are whole class, the ones where parents pay per head have limited invites.

EezyOozy · 02/04/2023 20:40

Totally agree. Whole class or just a small group. Not all but one.

Original poster
Mummy3decades · 02/04/2023 21:04

Thank you everyone , glad I made the right decision , I did have a chat to her asking how she and me as her mum would feel if every girl got an invite for a party apart from her and she said we would feel sad , so we are cutting the list down

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy3decades · 02/04/2023 21:07

SBAM · 02/04/2023 20:39

My DD is a little younger (Y1) but it seems that invites this year have been either whole class, all the boys/all the girls, or a select number of friends which was under half the class.

Generally the hall/entertainer/bouncy castle parties are whole class, the ones where parents pay per head have limited invites.

It’s £15 per child 🙄 but that’s 2.5 hrs play and hot meal & unlimited juice included , will just invite some rather than all

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 02/04/2023 21:10

You definitely did the right thing.

Comefromaway · 02/04/2023 21:15

You did the right thing. The child could have sen for all you know.

Madamecastafiore · 02/04/2023 21:36

See I don't prescribe to this reasoning. Someone is horrible to you, you're having a celebration and it's supposed to be fun, safe and all about you but you have to invite someone who isn't nice to you and will make you and it looks like in this case some of your friends uncomfortable. Why? Maybe she'll realise at 8 that her nasty behaviour has consequences and try to change how she interacts with other children.

Comefromaway · 02/04/2023 21:41

Nowhere in the op does it say the child is nasty, just rough. Which couod indicate some kind of special need/neurodiversity.

Original poster
Mummy3decades · 02/04/2023 22:46

Comefromaway · 02/04/2023 21:41

Nowhere in the op does it say the child is nasty, just rough. Which couod indicate some kind of special need/neurodiversity.

I honestly don’t want to sound mean but she seems to have no boundaries , as far as I’m aware there is no special needs , she does seem to enjoy annoying the other children in the class

OP posts:
Elfblossom · 02/12/2023 00:55

Mummy3decades · 02/04/2023 22:46

I honestly don’t want to sound mean but she seems to have no boundaries , as far as I’m aware there is no special needs , she does seem to enjoy annoying the other children in the class

Show quote history

You wouldn't necessarily be 'aware' ... people who are neurodivergent (arent always boisterous) or have any 'special needs' don't have to have it announced to the class or wear a sign hung around their necks 😉

Autism and ADHD is often missed in girls too because the testing and criteria is always based on the study of young boys who most often display completely behaviours differently to girls.

Maybe the child has boisterous siblings?

Either way, you're absolutely right to include her OR reduce the invite list.

AliceMcK · 02/12/2023 01:05

I did leave one girl out of one of my DDs birthdays. Same situation she’d been mean to my dd since reception, my dd was shaking and begging me not to invite her. At the end of the day it was my DDs birthday, she dosnt normally dislike anyone but she was so emotional I wasn’t going to force her to have someone there that would ruin her party. I don’t regret it.

WandaWonder · 02/12/2023 01:10

Mummy3decades · 02/04/2023 20:32

my daughter is having an 8th birthday party soon ,her first proper party , she is a popular wee girl and gets on with everyone in her class , apart from one girl , she is pretty rough with kids in the class , she has been in my daughters class since p1 , having a chat about the party list my daughter was adamant this girl was not getting invited , and she was pretty upset about it , I have told her if one girl can’t come then she needs to shorten her list and take some other girls off the list, did i do the right thing ? What have other parents done in this situation ? Thanks

I would never do whole class, but no I would never leave one put if I did

I think parties are for friends so if not an actual friend no point inviting

Goodornot · 02/12/2023 01:16

Madamecastafiore · 02/04/2023 21:36

See I don't prescribe to this reasoning. Someone is horrible to you, you're having a celebration and it's supposed to be fun, safe and all about you but you have to invite someone who isn't nice to you and will make you and it looks like in this case some of your friends uncomfortable. Why? Maybe she'll realise at 8 that her nasty behaviour has consequences and try to change how she interacts with other children.

Quite. The child is rough to other children and dd doesn't like her. You can leave her out.

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