If you are having a party for your DC and you haven't heard back from people 3 days before the big event do you ...

[castlesintheair]

A. Hassle the parent for a response (I haven't heard back from about 8 and I don't know some of the children)

or

B. Assume they aren't coming so don't make up party bag or generally cater for them?

Thanks. Am new to big party etiquette despite having a 6 year old

Watching with interest, as am in same position.

In past, I have lurked around school gates and asked other Mums 'can X come to the party?'

I sent out a letter once when I had put out invitations before Christmas and still hadn't heard anything when they started back at school saying I would need to cancel the party if I did not hear back - and all responded that day!
But usually I just phone and ask if they are coming. Sometimes the invitations get lost - or parents genuinely forget.

I'd ask the parent directly, but also if I didn't hear, I'd assume that at least some of them would turn up regardless and cater for some of them just in case (there are usually siblings around to mop up any leftover party bags, and the parents will hoover up any leftover food, ime).

Also in the past, have made up enough party bags for all invited, and then have given them away to guests at the party, and have brought into school to give to those who couldn't attend.

I've taken bags into school/nursery too, but only for those who've told us they can't come, not to those who just haven't replied.

I think IME, you have to assume they are coming - unfortunately.

DS1 invited a boy once who didn't reply. I asked his Mum every day in the week leadin up to the party and she said "I'm not sure yet" and then, on the Friday, she told me he wasn't coming

OK thanks. Like the idea of handing out spare goody bags to those who bothered to reply and say they weren't coming. Will be doing that

Same issue here; but DDs party is at local soft play zoo, so every no-show equals over a tenner each. I am assuming those who have not replied are not coming, and hoping that the place will be able to cater for any extras who pitch up on the day. It doesn't help that I am a crap mother and don't know any of the other mums or who is whose child, so I can't even turn up at school and hassle them.

Ask the parent

If you can't reach them, I would still have a few spare party bags just in case. After all, its not the child's fault their parent didn't let you know if they are coming.

Indeed; in extremis I will have to nip to the cafe and buy some extra sarnies.

I would chase up personally.