Would you buy a wedding present for a 2nd marriage?

[chicaguapa]

My sister is getting married for the second time and has decided to get married abroad. She's asked if we'd go and I've said yes even though it's going to cost us a lot of money as a family of 2+2 - more than we'd usually spend on a holiday to somewhere we don't even want to go!

Anyway, I was wondering if she should expect presents as well as people travelling abroad for a wedding? Her first marriage lasted less than a year and was 4 years ago. Everyone gave presents then and DH said people don't expect presents for a 2nd marriage. I was wondering what the norm was.

I'd have thought a token present - maybe a nice photo frame or candlestick, that kind of thing, so you have made the gesture and bought a present but not spent a lot of money, reflecting the fact that this is no longer about helping a young couple to set up home.

I probably would but I've no idea what the norm is..

[unhelpful]

I'd def get your sister a present!

Perhaps buy them a decent bottle of champagne when you're out for the wedding?

Out there (for the wedding)

I MUST preview.

I'm quie surprised people don't buy for second marriages - I always do

I would get something if it was me.

I always buy a wedding present whether it is first, second or third marriage!!!

Not buying for your sister's wedding (2nd, 3rd whatever) is just mean imho. It needn't be an expensive present.

Maybe it's just sour grapes on my behalf. I know my immediate family went to a lot of expense with her first wedding and she expected everyone to spend a lot of money on staying in the expensive hotel etc etc. So I guess I feel a bit miffed that we're all expected to do it again and yet spend even more by going abroad this time! And then buying another present seemed to be the icing on top! But I'm probably being grumpy.

I would have been buggered then, first marraiage for me, third for DH, a wedding is a wedding, I think as you are going away then a token present would be lovely.

God I hope people do! I'm getting married for the second time in the summer, and I want gifts!!!

(In my defence my first marriage was 10 years ago, on a beach, on our own with no presents!)

And I would be very hurt if my sister didn't get me a gift.

She is the kind of person that would compare how much money someone had spent on a present so it's the expectation I'm rallying against rather than the sentiment! At her last wedding I gave her the same value as she had spent on me the year before (I had a wedding book and looked it up so I didn't commit a faux pas) and I know for a fact that she complained that I was being tight! It DOES annoy me when people get married abroad and EXPECT family to go. I think we should have a choice and the bride & groom respect that, but that's another thread.

Am a bit at buying present of exactly same value...

buy them a bottle of bubbly then drink it if they complain

I guess it just goes to show that you shouldn't post questions and try to simplify the matter for brevity...