40 ideas for 40th birthday - help!

[Mummyongin]

My husband is 40 next month, he isn’t into “stuff” and has talked about feeling like he hasn’t done much with his life. I want to give him 40 things to do for his 40th so he has lots to look forward to. I’ve only sorted about 10 and family have contributed some lovely gift experiences and vouchers for things but I’m struggling to come up with cheaper ideas.

Family have got him a gin distillery tour, racing car day, paddle boarding, butcher voucher (for his bbq), and meal voucher. I’ve got limited money so I’ve sourced some free horse racing tickets, booked a cheap weekend away, brunch, day out somewhere with free entry, and I’ll make vouchers for things like a trip to the beach etc. I just need more ideas that cost under £20 ish.

For my dh 40th I made him a photo book - and tried to get a photo of him or friend /family for each year (liaised with his mum). And added other photos in. Could you ask family/friends to write down some memories with a photo? Could count each one as one of the 40? Might also remind him of stuff he has done/enjoyed/achieved.
Maybe get favourite sweets / snacks from now or childhood?

So am I right that you want to gift experiences only?

I would:
1 make a list of local attractions that he has never been to and get tickets for the cheaper ones
2 write a letter telling him what you love most about him and appreciate about him. Life isn’t just about achieving big things - it’s the little things too
3 get family and friends to do similar (but maybe shorter) and put them all in a jar for him
4 if he likes cooking, think about meals he has always wanted to try and get him the ingredients to make them. If he doesn’t like cooking, buy the ingredients and do it yourself. Or just vouchers saying “This voucher is good for a roast quail dinner” or whatever
5 if he likes beer get him some craft beers - specialist shops will sell individual cans.
6 buy him snacks that he has never tried eg fortune cookies or American sweets
7 Give him vouchers for other experiences that you design yourself eg “This voucher is good for a champagne breakfast watching the sun rise at xx destination”. Then one weekend in summer, organise the breakfast and take him.

40 over a long period of time?

Honestly it sounds like too much. Tom much pressure. Too much faff. As a receiver I would get fatigued by it all. 40 heartfelt thank yous. 40 omgs! 40 wow you’re so wonderful.

However things like-
Breakfast in bed
The SW coastal path
climb scarf pike together
run a half marathon together
sign up to be extras in a film or tv show
get tickets from the bbc for a filming of a radio program
write him a letter now and again as a surprise
make a treasure hunt around where you live
make a photo album for him
get people from far away to send him a video message

What Bunce said

You need to stop with the "big" things and put in things like breakfast in bed, or sleep out in the garden under the stars or watch the sunrise from a nearby country park.

Other ideas for things that may be new to him:
get him a face sheet mask and hair mask

go to a yoga class together

escape room - if you can get friends to go too

my DD works at an indoor trampoline centre - they recently had a group of women come in to celebrate a 40th

book a squash court and hire rackets and balls

go out for yum char

any books he always wanted to read??

These are great ideas, loads of inspiration thanks. I’m definitely doing breakfast in bed, and I’ll book a table tennis table and badminton court. Also applied for tv audience tickets, booked free tickets to outdoor expo, got a guitar book to learn some new songs, found a local free art exhibition, and going to look for an online escape room (near us it’s £60). Any more ideas keep them coming, thanks all.

Where abouts in the country are you? Does he have a favourite football team?

@amprev The team he supports is nearly 300 miles away and it’s difficult getting away tickets as you need supporters points to get access to them.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking tickets so much as maybe a membership or a stadium tour. If he happened to be a Liverpool fan they have just started an experience where you abseil down the side of the stadium and its 30 odd quid. If he's a premier league team supporter, many of the clubs have stuff to do because of the ticket situation these days. If he was a member (which is also about 30 quid a year) he also has an increased chance of getting tickets via ballots.

Tandem bike ride, murder mystery dinner party, garden water fight, swimming in the sea/river, eating cake for breakfast, volunteer somewhere for a day (or longer!), complete a park run, pub quiz.

Hadn’t thought of that - will look now. Still got the issue of £100s on travel and accommodation though

You sound so thoughtful! I agree though that 40 is too much and just overwhelming. 20 things to do by the time you’re 40 has got as much of a ring to it and is far more manageable for you (and for him!)

Go somewhere with no light pollution and star gaze.

I have considered it’s too much, maybe it is. I’ve got over 20 now already and I’m motivated to keep going now. I’ve got plenty of ideas for the rest but it’s just budget that’s holding me back. If I can find more low cost options nearby then I won’t mind adding in a few pricier ones, especially for family trips that everyone will get something out of. As a family we’ve had a cr*p year so I think we all will benefit from having things to look forward to.

I also think that this level of gifting whether it’s material or not piles on the pressure for reciprocity when it’s your birthday.

That's lovely! I wish someone would do something like that to me!

And I couldn't think of anything worse!!! 😀 Lucky we're all different I suppose.

I feel like I’m willing you on OP!! Hope you get there

Buy some board games? Something like Love Letters or The Gubs would be cheap

Art class or pottery workshop? You might be able to find a cheap one
Some niche clubs might have “come and try” days. Something like orienteering, archery

Has he been to a pub quiz or trivia night.

Women’s sports are (sadly) usually cheap to go and watch. Basketball?

Go to a comedy club?

40 things to do would be tough going in a year, when you factor in 'normal' life. Going to an event/activity most weeks would be hard to fit in. Plus don't forget the extra associated costs - fuel and parking, drinks/food whilst there, potential overnighters for a few.

You run the risk of the next year feeling like a chore and being all about DH's 40th.

No suggestions sorry but what a lovely thing to do! I hope your husband appreciates what a lovely gesture this is

You run the risk of the next year feeling like a chore and being all about DH's 40th.

I agree with this - 40 events/activities is one activity most weeks of the year. It's too much, and the shine will definitely start to wear off.

How many times will he have to thank you for the gifts? And how long will some of these vouchers last for before they run out?

Why not get a few things for his 40th, but make a separate plan between you to make time to do nice things together. Not as a gift from one to the other (which carries an expectation of reciprocation/thanks etc.) but just as a shared plan to have fun and spend quality time together?

Do some vouchers for things that are cheap or free.

Look up a wild swimming place near you and do a voucher for that, rolle dup in a Primark beachtowel or new trunks.

If he is at all geeky, get him a book of birds and a bag of seed so he can start id-ing garden birds. It's addictive!

Wrap a voucher for a starlit bat walk around a flask with a cocoa sachet in it.

Buy a nice paperback copy of a classic but easy to read novel (e.g. The Third Man by Graham Greene) and a note that challenges him to Read A Classic (if he's not a reader)

Buy a cheap canvas from Tyger and challenge him to paint an abstract (get him to use up remnants of house paint so you know it will go with your decor)

Would that sort of less dramatic but new thing appeal to him?

@Rainbowqueeen thanks for the support! Women’s sport is a v good idea he would like that. Any other ideas of good (cheap!) leagues? I will look for basketball. Orienteering made me think of geocache which should work too

Parkrun
Climb the local peaks around you with a picnic (you might be able to get a few out of this!)
Time something with a meteor shower eg. Perseoid meteor shower- happens every year.
Similarly other things that might come up that you would already be doing could be made more special eg make dumplings together as a nod to chinese new year, or go somewhere different to watch the fireworks at bonfire night?
Fire pit with marshmallows in the garden?
Outdoor cinema
Outdoor water park
You have the usual, Massage, lingirie etc too!
Lots of free museums etc to go to that would be a day out - eg sketching at the local arts museum?