Please help! Struggling with DD's 18th birthday ideas

[Selok]

Since our house would be too small for the party size (if we had a party, would be for 30-40 people) so I was looking at village halls, function rooms etc. when you add good, drinks, music etc it is becoming so costly. So changed our minds instead of a party, thinking of a day and evening in London, but then her boyfriend will join us- she wants a traditional afternoon tea with piano etc, then a steak dinner later so it will probably cost more than the party- now I am having second thoughts again! I know deep down she really wants to have a party with wider friends but saying that she also doesn't mind the second idea of posh London day - so if we have the function room with staffed bar, do I also need to pay for drinks or do i just provide food? Sorry for the long post as you can see my peri menopausal brain is all over the place! TIA

Any ideas? Thoughts to share? What did you do?

An afternoon tea but for a close few friends (some local cafes near us do take away options which are cheap but not mega expensive to do your own at home, may be cheaper than eating out)
And then a steak dinner our just you and her?

How many could you have at home? Teens don't mind squeezing.... How big is your garden? Presumably it's fairly soon not in the summer?

And are you thinking party with her friends? Or party with 40 family members?

I'm planning DDS 18th birthday party. We have a biggish garden, so I've hired a bell tent. We have a shed that will be converted for the evening into a bar.

So that her family can see him, we've arranged an afternoon party at a restaurant. So family and family friends come at 2 for fizz and cake. Some of her friends will join us at 4 where they're having a cocktail tasting for a couple of hours. Then it's back to ours for the proper party. I'm just ordering in a load of pizzas and a giant cake. Guests bring their own booze.

The restaurant bit is costing £10 per head, so about £250.

The bell tent (and portaloo! Forgot to mention that!) Is £300.

I'm expecting the pizzas and cake to be £150 ISH.

Then some decorations and bits another £150.

It ain't cheap!

DD is 18 and has been to lots of different parties this year. Some just in friends homes/gardens, a few in village halls/pubs. A couple have just gone to pizza express for lunch and one did something totally different where they went to an attraction (for the last two they all paid for themselves)

Party wise she much prefers the ones in friends homes where there is no family there. She says it feels really awkward otherwise and they can't be themselves.

Have a party at home! For an 18th with 30-40 people, you'd be able to lay cardboard/sticky back plastic on any carpet, spend £100 on drinks & some decorations and ask her/the boyfriend to make a playlist. Get baby photos of her etc. turning 18 and 21 are one of the few times in young adult years to have a proper knees up with friends and family.

Some pubs have a function room attached which they don't charge you for using as long as people are buying drinks.

I suppose it depends if your DD is one of the oldest or youngest of her friends as if they are all still 17 they will be restricted!

For eldest DDs 18th we hired a room in a local pub which included a buffet and worked out about £20 per head. People paid for their own drinks and we're happy to do that. Our only other expense then was a cake and a few decorations for the room.

We were in lockdown so no parties.
Would she appreciate driving lessons instead?

The last 18th I went to was in a hall with a bar. Most of the teens were 17 as the party girls birthday was in Sept so she was one of the eldest in the year.

The manager behind the bar was more than happy to sell them all tons of drink with no ID but then complained when things got a bit lairy and some stuff was broken/damaged.

Thanks all for all suggestions! My DD is an only child so this is my first experience as well and since the house is small we hardly have any parties at home but we have a small garden, a large enough kitchen and lounge separate but leading up to the kitchen so could hold up to 30 people with 35 squeeze- checked with our local pub they charge £50 for the function room if with food £11 per head or £100 no food there is staffed bar for drinks- so I understand I don't have to pay for drinks!

Also many of them now turned 18 already so a small number of 17s

@titchy 30-40 friends, her birthday is in April, falling in the Easter holidays so great timing for a little break from A levels revising! If in the pub's function room some family can come and sit outside maybe as the function room opens up to the garden part! We are not a large family- my side of the family is in the Meds and my DH's mum and his brother with gf - sister we are not really in touch with her- no other kids in the family

Small marquee in garden then plus kitchen? Should be big enough.