Do people all have parties every year for their children or is my dd just trying to make me feel bad

[singyswife]

DD claims that everyone has parties. She had one for her 5th birthday and then had a few friends roudn last year for some craft activities. This year I am struggling. She wanted a limo but at £110 she is not having one (but my friend got one was the reply). Am I going about this birthday business all wrong or what?

A limo at 5?! She's got plenty of years ahead for all that - a lovely 13th birthday treat or something?

Ds1's just had his first 'proper' party at 6 - a soft play thing. Next year he's already decided he wants to take 4 - 5 friends bowling. Ds2's had nothing yet and won't until he's at least 6. He'll probably have a couple of friends round for tea in April when he turns 4.

A limo?!?

I think most kids have parties, but having friends around is plenty. I've not heard of anyone having limos!

I have done a party for my DD each year and cureent.y been planning her 6th birthday party. I love it all, hence why I do it.
A few of DD's classmates didn't have parties last year though so some children defintely don't always have a party.

A limo?!! Blimey! My dds have had a party every year since they were four but they have always been parties at home, with a theme, traditional games, cake etc - usually between £40 and £60 max including tea, homemade cake, prizes, party bags etc.

The numbers invited have gradually gone down and this year they will have only 6 friends each and probably go out for a meal or something, rather than a party at home. Next year dd will be 14 and I'm hoping we can just leave them all at a restaurant for a couple of hours and go for coffee in peace instead!!!!

Yes a Limo I was shocked. Dh pointed out to her that for that to happen mummy would have to work and then I wouldnt be there to play with them. That stopped the limo idea. Was thinking about just having a few friends round for a video and popcorn.

mine is 3 and has been asking me when her birthday, the big one, will be this year, since her last one!!! so i have no choice of course!

I usually do bigish parties, but just because I love to. We have missed a couple - DS2 didn't have a 3rd party, because I was ill, and DD didn't have a party this year.. we were palanning to go out as a family for a picnic party, but it rained.

I only had one party as a child, because I cried towards the end, and my mother decided I couldn't cope with them. I was about 6 ffs! I think it was because my dad told me off for climbing out of the window into the front garden, and telling all my firends to follow me,which they did.

No chance!!! In fact when all the other mums had catered birthday parties for their 1 yr olds (its posh round here...!) I just took mine along and told him it was his

I think parties for big birthdays are fine, but having a couple of friends to tes or stay over is the limit the rest of the time.

As for "my friend got one" you cannot win. But my (chidish!) attitude is that I bet "friend" would rather have a loving and attentive Mummy. My kids get treats all the year round, my time and attention. Better than throwing money at them in my book.

video and popcorn sounds fab. Maybe even a sleepover - but they might be just a bit too young? Ds1's having his first sleepover friend round in the half term and they'll probably watch a video and sleep in the living room in sleeping bags!

For tes read tea obviously

TREBUCHET Well said. I agree totally that this is the most important thing (the time I give them I mean) it is just hard when they reach the peer pressure age (although she is only 7) and start with the, but my friend got.....you know what its like.

yes I think children who want parties should have one every year

I remember not being allowed to have parties .. it hurt .. it hurts now looking back .. I wasn't allowed because my mother had already been through it before with my 3 sisters and couldn't be bothered again ..

but at 6 .. a few friends and a cake and some crafty stuff should suffice .. or a video and popcorn

Twiglett, that is such a shame. Have a chocolate cornflake cake and a go on the pinata on me.

DVD and popcorn would be fine; or just a birthday tea, pass the parcel and cake. In fact, sometimes they enjoy the simple things much more than another trek to the soft play centre etc espcially if everybody tends to go to the same place (which is what seemed to happen for several years with dd2's class!).

We always celebrate birthdays in a big way - not always with a party, not always involving much money either. When DS was 5 he didn't want a party so we went to Diggerland. This year we went to Legoland and he invited four mates round for tea after school and they thought it was the best ever!!

DD has invited 10 mates round for the afternoon on her birthday next week to just hang around together, bit of karaoke, maybe a dvd, probably lots of lipgloss and High School Musical singalong = very cheap - yay!

I have organised parties of 30 but in a hall and done the entertaining myself with arts and crafts or one year asked a girl I know to go through some dance routines with the girls (DD was 7). They loved that.

I think parties aren't the issue necessarily, depends on you and the child but being made to feel special on your birthday is a must!

Mine have quite big parties each every year but that's partly because we like giving parties, also we have space at home and 3 spring/summer birthdays so it's easy to do them without spending a lot.

Also I feel a bit responsible because we moved twice in the last two years so I feel some duty to help their friendships a bit.

But ours are not limo-like. They're not really raising the bar of party expectations.

My DD will be 7 this year and is going to a restaurant with 10 friends for lunch and this is her last big one.
We do parties for 5,6,7 and that is that, otherwise just cinema with a friend and a pizza afterwards.

I find the idea of smaller parties harder. dd1 is nearly 8, she would be happy with a big or small party but the logistics of a small one seem more tricky. She has several smaller sisters and cousins who have to come so it can't be too sophisticated. her best friend is blind so that rules out cinema etc. Her next best friend is a boy who likes skateboarding and skating.

dd1 doesn't like anything girly and favours an animal party or a "castle trip" but finding something small which suits the few who would have to come is harder than just inviting 20 asorted guests round to our house and plying them with party food and games.

We've always had a 'celebration' but numbers of guest have varied each year, and generally nothing terribly expensive.

At 6 and 7 ds2 chose to invite just a few friends (2-4) for a 'day out' rather than a party. (One year we went to the zoo, another day we went out on the train/steam train/walk to a waterfall/picni). At that age ds1 had a more regular party I think. Last birthday (8) ds2 had a bigger party with about 30 guests I think, bouncy castles etc.

Age 8, 9, and 10 ds1 has had c.4 guests (plus us of course) for a civilised meal at a restaurant followed by a cinema trip or bowling.

I've absolutely no idea what they want to do this year.

Thank you am still racking my brains trying to come up with idea. She wanted to go to the cinema but to be honest there isnt much on here. Was thinking about a mini pamper party (at home) so might still go for that then just us and her best friend out to dinner.