Saying thank you to party attendees for gifts

[MummyDeux]

The past few parties we’ve been to I’ve noticed that parents don’t say thank you for presents. Is this not the done thing anymore? After dd’s recent party, as well as the party bags and thanks on the day, I sent a message once she opened her presents to say thanks for the present and card. One parent told me once they don’t bother any more- tho this was different as I didn’t attend the party but gave the present at nursery and didn’t know whether it was received! But perhaps otherwise once a thanks is said at the party that’s seen as enough… Interested to know thoughts 💭

Most parents, me included, just send a message on the class WhatsApp to say thanks rather than individual thanks. I really cba to write a list of who sent what as the dc rip open their pressies, I used tobut as no one else seems bothered by it I don't any longer.

I always get the child to write a thank you card for any presents. Even if they just write their name at the bottom and the rest is written by me. It's good manners to do this. Although we haven't had many thank you cards from the parties we have gone to this year, I will continue doing it as it instills manners in children.

I was surprised by this too, OP. When my DC started nursery, most parties seemed to be held in local soft play venues, and presents were placed on a table at the venue. After the first party I took my DC to, there was no mention or acknowledgement of the gift I'd bought. I was mortified, thinking that the gift tag must have fallen off or that the present had somehow been mislaid, and the child's parents must think I'd come empty-handed. But as the same thing happened at everyparty we attended, it gradually dawned on me that most people don't do thank-yous for party gifts.

I couldn't bring myself not to acknowledge a present at all. It just felt rude. So I always sent an individual message to each guest's parent. My DC are a bit older now, so they've done the thank-you messages themselves recently .

I have noticed the same! Really rude in my opinion- if someone has bothered to make the effort choosing a nice gift, the least a parent can do is acknowledge it.Seems like it's seen as some sort of trade...the child gets an invite the invitee brings a gift.But i always message saying thankyou for having DD at the party, so expect them to say thanks for the present in return.DD's birthday is at the weekend, and I will likely get her to participate in writing thankyou notes for her presents.We did at xmas and i did when i was a child.I think it instills gratitude and good manners.

It's so rude not to acknowledge a gift and sadly more unusual to receive a thank you.

My DC are older now but we always sent thank you’s for gifts and received thanks back in most cases, favourite thank you’s are if a group photo has been taken, this can be printed out with a thank you message & something to pop in the memory box / photo album, lovely to look back on.

@Festivalpartygirl love that idea! Will keep in mind for future parties

@Festivalpartygirl

My DC are older now but we always sent thank you’s for gifts and received thanks back in most cases, favourite thank you’s are if a group photo has been taken, this can be printed out with a thank you message & something to pop in the memory box / photo album, lovely to look back on.

Fab idea!

I have been meaning to start a thread about this! Nursery DC here - one party I messaged the mum to say thank you afterwards for having us, got a "Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the lovely gift" type reply back. Two others - nada. I find it so impolite. Even something on the Whatsapp group would be fine if the presents/cards are a bit of a jumble but nothing??

@TheWayTheLightFalls I honestly don’t know if it’s just the lack of manners, ignorance of any kind of social etiquette or what it is. I always make sure that I thank the person or give credit where it’s due, but I’ve seen countless number of people who just walk away without a glance and they don’t even message afterwards to say thanks either But I guarantee that if I was to the same, they’d be in a huff. So I think it’s about the standards people have for themselves and for others?

boswell what threw me was that one of the mums hosting was on DC3 - she has 10+ years of doing kids' parties. So if anyone is aware of what's "done", it'd be her. It does irritate me though. I don't care if it's a generic message - even though I try to take care with presents and choose things the child will enjoy - but just some acknowledgment.

TheWay Intriguing. Hopefully she forgot unless this is a norm for her and for others she’s hosted?

I would be surprised, too, and I believe ignoring someone's effort in choosing a good gift is just rude. It's not like everyone is requested to make a whole smartshow 3d presentation about how much they liked the gift but a simple thank you is plain good manners.