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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

Asking for no gifts - 8 yo party

73 replies

JamMakingWannaBe · 09/01/2022 19:13

DS turns 8 at the end of this month and we are planning a whole class party.

Relatives were very generous with Christmas presents and his overseas aunts and uncles have already given him (via us) another generous budget for birthday presents.

Can we ask his school friends not to bring gifts for his birthday and if so how? I really just don't want another 20 odd gifts on top of what he received for Xmas and what family and close friends will give him for his birthday. His room needs a good declutter as it is!

Cards would be great.

Can I say something on the invitation like, "Gifts not required. Cards welcome"?

OP posts:
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 09/01/2022 20:37

@JamMakingWannaBe

Oh and one family took their gift to their son for him to open at his party!

Thesunrising · 09/01/2022 20:39

A friend of my son did this for their 7 yr all-class party. So I didn’t send a present. After the party, the parents of birthday child sent out thank yous on WhatsApp to what felt like most of the parents - for all the presents and money(!) that had been gifted! I was a bit agog - a) that I felt like I was the only one who had respected the parents wishes (but looked tight), and b) that parents were enclosing money - when did this start happening!?! So - you can certainly ask people not to send a gift, but it might be that many don’t feel able to resist sending one.

Snow1n · 09/01/2022 20:44

Its usual in my dcs school that any parties you say no gifts, €5 in a card at most, thank you. It saves everyone the bother of trying to find a present for a kid they may or may not know, its cheaper than buying a gift often, and the child can put it all together and save some, spend some and get exactly what they want. Its win win all round

loveablequalities · 09/01/2022 20:48

You'd be better putting the cash from relatives into his bank and accepting the gifts from his pals. My kids like choosing a present for their friends. You could also not get him much and reduce that way.

Ohyesiam · 09/01/2022 20:56

People will think you mean give money, as I found out to my embarrassment. The next year I days no gifts or money. we still got several gifts

SoftSheen · 09/01/2022 20:59

Please don't do this. Presents are so exciting at that age and your DS will remember the party for all the wrong reasons.

Bringonsummer19 · 09/01/2022 21:00

@Whinge yes I agree with you, much more common to give presents, particularly at such a young age

iwanttobeonleave · 09/01/2022 21:01

Yes of course you can say that. I do.

I hate the pressure to buy gifts but even more, I hate the waste/plastic/over consumerism etc.

Children don't need 20 odd presents!!

AliceMcK · 09/01/2022 21:01

@Dairyfairie

I am also planning a party …

I think It is not for me to refuse gifts for ds - it is his birthday and they are his friends. I would love to say ‘second-hand only’ or ‘please, there’s no need’ (this last one I did for my wedding), but I don’t think it is in my gift to refuse gifts for someone else.

This
Loopyloulou007 · 09/01/2022 21:04

Why don't you ask for donations to a plant a few trees in your sons name, adopt an endangered animal in the wild for the class, so they get updates sent to the school or sponsor a child in the third world through education or something.

GoodWeatherforDucks · 09/01/2022 21:10

30 presents - pure insanity. I really cannot believe how much STUFF kids own these days. The fact your son shrugged and seemed OK with “no gifts”says a lot. He has everything he needs, and will get to enjoy a day together with his classmates. There are not many Charlie Buckets left in this country at least, who would be excited about a simple bar of chocolate for their birthday. However there are still a few children who are in that position - why not ask for a gift of £5 from those that wish to and let it be known that all the money will be donated to a childrens’ charity of your sons’ choice. I would absolutely back any parent (and child) who chose to do that.

Nanny0gg · 09/01/2022 21:15

@JamMakingWannaBe

DS turns 8 at the end of this month and we are planning a whole class party.

Relatives were very generous with Christmas presents and his overseas aunts and uncles have already given him (via us) another generous budget for birthday presents.

Can we ask his school friends not to bring gifts for his birthday and if so how? I really just don't want another 20 odd gifts on top of what he received for Xmas and what family and close friends will give him for his birthday. His room needs a good declutter as it is!

Cards would be great.

Can I say something on the invitation like, "Gifts not required. Cards welcome"?

Not for you to say, they're presents for your DC not you.

And however you put it, it comes over as rude.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 09/01/2022 21:15

@GoodWeatherforDucks

Totally agree!

Nanny0gg · 09/01/2022 21:16

@Loopyloulou007

Why don't you ask for donations to a plant a few trees in your sons name, adopt an endangered animal in the wild for the class, so they get updates sent to the school or sponsor a child in the third world through education or something.
None of these, worthy though they are, are birthday presents for an 8 year-old
Nanny0gg · 09/01/2022 21:17

@loveablequalities

You'd be better putting the cash from relatives into his bank and accepting the gifts from his pals. My kids like choosing a present for their friends. You could also not get him much and reduce that way.
^^This
Nanny0gg · 09/01/2022 21:18

@JamMakingWannaBe

Definitely no cash! We have enough of that from relatives.

Personally I would save it but it's from DH's side of the family and they expect a photo of DS with the gift that has been bought.

When I broached it with him he just shrugged and said he didn't mind.

What do you expect him to say?

And use relative's money for a lovely day out/experience for him

gogohm · 09/01/2022 21:19

How about no gifts please but we will be collecting food and donations for the food bank ? I've seen this quite a few times

PreparationPreparationPrep · 09/01/2022 21:24

Or - maybe book tokens. He can keep or donate these too.

FrecklesMalone · 09/01/2022 21:48

We had a group present for my kids with about 10 kids. We bought 1 present from all the friends from the group for about £20 quid which the parents of the birthday child suggested. We would do it in pairs. Did it for years. Saved so money and avoided much wasted landfill shite

FrecklesMalone · 09/01/2022 21:48

Meant I only ever bought 1 present a year. Was great

CanIHaveASnaaaaak · 09/01/2022 21:52

I have a birthday near Christmas and this really pisses me off.

You’ve just had an influx of gifts and don’t want it repeated, if your child’s birthday was June would you be considering this?

Let your child enjoy being a kid and get gifts for their birthday. Don’t be a killjoy.

Original poster
JamMakingWannaBe · 09/01/2022 22:01

@CanIHaveASnaaaaak

I have a birthday near Christmas and this really pisses me off.

You’ve just had an influx of gifts and don’t want it repeated, if your child’s birthday was June would you be considering this?

Let your child enjoy being a kid and get gifts for their birthday. Don’t be a killjoy.

This is a good point. It just seems he's barely unboxed / played with a lot of the gifts he received for Xmas.
OP posts:
CanIHaveASnaaaaak · 09/01/2022 22:17

I do get that it’s annoying getting more things even though there are still untouched boxes from Christmas. But who says you must must come out straight away.

Perhaps steer the other parents towards garden toys or something to put in the garage til spring/summer?

Amazon sells out of season toys, and he’ll have new stuff to be excited for in a few months time.

My pet peeve having a late December birthday was that birthday and Christmas happened all at once, then I had to wait all year!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 10/01/2022 06:23

@CanIHaveASnaaaaak

I have a birthday near Christmas and this really pisses me off.

You’ve just had an influx of gifts and don’t want it repeated, if your child’s birthday was June would you be considering this?

Let your child enjoy being a kid and get gifts for their birthday. Don’t be a killjoy.

This! It is mine and DH’s fault that DD1 has a January birthday so I can’t complain about it being close to Christmas. It’s your fault you’d DS has a birthday near Christmas so suck it up!
MyOtherProfile · 10/01/2022 06:39

Friends being different presents though - things that are cool amongst peers but look like trash to us parents and that's really important. Let them bring presents.