Please help - joint party nightmare.........

[oooggs]

ds and a nursery friend are both 4 in December. So said friend (nursery managers daughter) and ds1 are havin a joint party on the Saturday between their birthdays.

It is a pool party with a pyjama tea afterwards. We can only have the pool from 6-8pm, so it is late.

DS1 at nursery 3 days and friend at nursery full time. They are inviting the whole class of 17 children (it will be late for some) plus some of friends cousins and some of ds1 friends from other groups.

The invites went out this morning. Another child in same class has a 3rd birthday on this Saturday, and until this morning was having a lunchtime party.

We thought that the younger ones would go to this and the older ones would come to ours. The other mum went to give out the invites today and because we had 'beaten her to it' (her words) she has asked if she can come in on ours in a 3 way split.

sorry this is long - thankyou for getting this far.........

logistically this is a nightmare, invites out, joint cake with joint photo and 4th birthday ordered etc......

I have to ring up the other mum this afternoon to sort it out (nursery manager at a conference). What would you do? We don't mind at all her coming in with us but logistics?????

And....... if we hadn't 'beaten her to it' she was going to give out her invites anyway - she did know this was going to happen last week.

Oooggs, i would stand firm and say very politely no. Kids parties are hard enough to organise as it is without any extra worries,if you have doubts now they will only double by the time the party arrives.

Is my invite in the post,only it dosen't seem to have arrived yet!!

I'd let her go three ways TBH

Just tell her invites have ogne out - she needs to send hers out saying its same place as yours, joint party etc

surely she can just bring her own cake?]

no big deal is it

I agree with tigger oooggs. It will just get horribly messy otherwise.

Now, must go and get invites done for DTs party before someone beats me to it

come on down Em plenty of room and your dts will love it

get a move on dingdong - when is their birthday? June??

I'm obviously much nicer than you bitches

Gosh, that IS a nightmare!

I guess it depends on what you want to happen:

1. Three-way split. Most children will come but you may have some very little ones (although time will probably put a few off). Cake problem easily solved: tell 3rd mum it's ordered and she'll have to bring her own. You'll also have to get her to stump up some money.

1. Stay as is. Both parties could end up with fewer children. Unlikely many children will go to both. You'll probably have just the older ones. Actually, 3rd mum could have almost no one coming, if she gives her invites out later in the week and they've already said yes to yours. This way, it is awkward for everyone because they have to 'choose' between parties. But may be less hassle for you.

nah MamaG - its cos we are all multiple mums and already have at least double or triple to do

What a bugger, i would just get her to do her own invites and sort out her own cake.

I cant beleive that anyone would take their little one's to a pool party anyway. I mine would be too tired for that.

Good luck!

But why do they have to choose between parties? They are at different times. I would send my child to both parties although I would be slightly at how late the pool party is. In fact my DS attended two birthday parties on the day after my DD was born - one at soft play in the morning (DH too him - gave me chance to come on here and do a birth announcement ) and one at a neighhbours that I took him and tiny DD to.

Its all about routine when you're a multiple mum Mama!!! And God help anyone who gets in the way of it!!! LOL

Ooh Oooggs, that's tricky. I think you should probably say to the other mum that she's welcome to join in, but does her 3 yr old really want to have their party 6-8?? I know I wouldn't. If I were her, I'd get the invites out for the lunchtime party quick!

oooggs what did you decide? I'd say no to mixing as it creates more work and stress. The other little one might be upset at having to have a separate cake/the other two might be jealous of him having his own one etc. What will happen about banners/decorations etc? Also it's really late for all of them, esp the 3yr olds. Besides which, there is such a big difference between my own 3 and 4 year old I think it would be better for them to stick with their own ages. But I'm horrible, exhausted, hormonal and sick.

I couldn't say NO. So I tried to talk her out of it. With her party being at lunchtime (and she wants to invite children in the younger room who aren't even 3 yet) the younger preschoolers and the younger room children will probably go to hers and the older lot to the pool party.

She is so worried that on one is going to go to her dd's party and that is what it is all about.

I really hope she sleeps on what I have said and sticks to her own thing. DS1 does even remember this other childs name so why would he want a triple party with her.

Piximon you are so right there is a huge age gap between just 3 and just 4. I wouldn't have wanted ds1 out to a party so late at just 3 so the under 3 parents I doubt will want that either.

we will have to wait and see

All sorted after sleeping on it she has decided to change to day of her daughters party to Sunday - this now clashes with another childs party - but not my problem