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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

party for 5yr old

14 replies

georgiana · 27/09/2002 10:54

Dd will be having her birthday party at home this year for the first time and I've already got loads of ideas from old threads for games so thanks for that.But what about the adults? If most of her little pals are 4 will they all stay with them and what should I give them to eat and drink?I'm not sure if the granparents can be around to help,do you think I should enlist the help of a friend to do drinks etc for the adults?And do you reckon alcohol is appropriate for them?There should be about 9 children in all.

OP posts:
Scatterbrain · 27/09/2002 11:33

I think you should make it clear whether or not you want the parents to stay on the invitations !

I went to my goddaughters 3rd b'day party lately and was horrified that 80% of the mums just dropped their little darlings off and went shopping ! BF and I were not expecting to have to look after 20 excited 3 year olds on our own and we were not happy - specially with 2 teething 18 month olds in tow !

On the other hand - went to a very nice 1st party last week and all parents stayed (obviously) - grown ups had wine/beer and homemade samosas - very welcome. Most were driving so didn't drink much - so get plenty of soft drinks in too !

Have a great time ! Definitely enlist all help possible !

Original poster
georgiana · 27/09/2002 16:00

Thanks Scatterbrain I'll definately put all parents welcome to stay.I'm shocked that most of the parents left their 3yr olds at your party,I didn't leave mine until she was 4 and that was only because she insisted that I wasn't to stay as she wanted to be there on her own.You never know when there's going to be tears at that age and are going to need you.Dh has insisting we don't have an entertainer and do it all ourselves.The thought of having to entertain the adults too is panicking me a bit as some of them I don't know at all.So maybe a bit of help would be a good idea.

OP posts:
Scatterbrain · 27/09/2002 16:08

georgiana, don't make it more stressful for yourself - just concentrate on the kids and the adults can be entertained by their own kids enjoying themselves with others.

I'm sure as long as they get given a drink and something to nibble, maybe somewhere to sit or lean, and the chance to chat to other harassed parents they should be happy.

BTW - a face-painter seems to be a very popular entertainer these days - and you can just pop them in a corner somewhere !

Have a few alcoholic drinks yourself before it starts and you'll have a great time !

Remember there is no such thing as a stranger - just friends you haven't met yet !

Original poster
georgiana · 27/09/2002 16:31

Any excuse to have a few Thanks for your advice.

OP posts:
janh · 27/09/2002 20:33

georgiana, our kids' parties were always parent free from 4 and up. (I remember 3-yr-olds' parties where parents stayed, and drank and chatted and were as useful as chocolate soldiers or whatever the expression is.)

We found a couple of enthusiastic good friends were all we needed for a good 4/5-yr-old party. 9 is a nice number. Lots of pass the parcel/musical bumps/statues, dead lions go down well and do get "magic candles" for the cake, the re-lighting kind, as long as you don't mind several pints of spit on the cake before they eat it it'll keep them amused for a good 20 minutes! (We also had a "Happy Birthday" tune candle this year for DS2, aged 9, they enjoyed that too!)

Tinker · 28/09/2002 11:47

georgiana - I aghree with janh. From 4 onwards the parents just seem to run and take advantage of that 2 hour break. Unless you know them, or the kids are upset, I'd encourage them to bugger off really. I mean, when it's your turn, you wouldn't want to be expected to stay would you?

Original poster
georgiana · 28/09/2002 17:43

Thanks Janh and Tinker.I hope they don't all stay really,I don't mind if none of them stay but I'm sure they will.I hate staying at kids parties myself,all that small talk for 2 hours although I can be very good at it at the end you come out feeling like a zombie.

OP posts:
Azzie · 28/09/2002 20:36

At ds's 5yo party last weekend we had 11 guests, and 2 mums stayed (one because her child is nervous in big groups and one because her child is currently dairy-free for health reasons so she stayed to make sure she only ate suitable stuff). This turned out to be perfect - with dh and me that made 4 adults, which was very useful at teatime, but not overwhelming.

WideWebWitch · 28/09/2002 22:20

Blimey I must be mad, I've invited the whole class (20) although only 6 of them have replied which I think is damn rude. Am I being unreasonable? (none of them know me or ds, he only just started) The invites went out with ds to school a week and a half ago and the teacher handed them out so I know they should have made it home...Also invited about 10 assorted other friends and family so could be 30 kids, could be 16 aaaggghhh. But at least 7 adults are staying to help. Your party sounds much more sensible Azzie, wish I'd done that!

emsiewill · 28/09/2002 22:24

Don't even get me started on RSVPs. DD's 5th birthday in January - we sent out 10 invitations, with very clear details on, and at least 5 out of the 10 did not bother to call me (as asked on the invitation). DD did come home with some "verbal" replies, but to me, a message passed through 2 5 yr-olds is not a reliable message. If people don't RSVP, you have to cater for them "just in case", and also prepare a party bag etc, as well as not being able to invite the "reserves". It really gets me mad!

threeangels · 28/09/2002 22:31

WWW - Having plenty of exp with my kids being invited to many parties I realized it is really normal for only a handful of children to actually show up for a friends party from school. Its really sad because most never even call to say if they are or are not coming. I think that is rude especially when you would like to know in advance how many are coming to plan. I dont have any problem myself if most of my kids friends at school cant come but I feel they should always call if they receive an invitation. Just to let me know. I hope your ds has a great b-day.

janh · 28/09/2002 22:55

As far as RSVPs go I have to plead guilty to not always doing it - if my child can't go then I do reply, but otherwise sometimes rely on the children to pass the word - agree with emsiewill, with small children this is not a reliable route and it is a comfort to get a definite reply from a parent (NB, all you other unreliable parents out there!). We had one no-reply-no-show for DS2's party this year, which was not a problem (we went bowling and the absence left space in the car for DS1 who couldn't have come otherwise) - also a couple of no-reply-but-did-turn-ups - but many more would have been.

(But over the years we have had probably had 30 kids' parties of one kind or another and despite inconsistent RSVPs haven't really had too many problems.)

emsiewill, how many of your 10 turned up in the end? WWW, let us know how yours went too!

Barbara145 · 06/10/2002 21:47

After having lavish parties for each of our kids plus Halloween and Summer parties I would definately leave the parents out on this one. Invite those nearest and dearest and buy a couple of boxes of wine, some M&S Ame-type non-alcohol and nibbles.

For my daughter's 2nd birthday we had 57 people most of which were adults. Obviously the number was so big as there were parents (in most cases both!). It was great at the time as they were all 1, 2 or 3 years old but the thought would fill me with dread now.

As Halloween approaches I know it's expected of us the throw a bash .....Aaaaaaaaarrrrggggggghhhh!

SueW · 07/10/2002 09:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

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