childrens party and present ettiquette

[LowFat]

DD (soon to be 4) went to a party a few weeks ago and took a present etc, Now it's her birthday in a couple of weeks and the same little friend will be on holiday. But her mum said she had got DD a little present anyway - which I thought was really nice. Both DD's quite like each other and get on because they have the same unusual name though spelled diiferent.

Another of DD's friends, who I dont know of so well was invited to DD's party and DD got an invite to her party the next day - although short notice up to party day, so I am guessing she was'nt going to be invited until we sent ours....keeping up so far?

Now I dont dont know if this little girl will come to DD's party yet, but I have left a message on her mums mobile saying DD cant make it and looking forward to seeing if her DD can come to ours. Question is - should I get this little girl a present as the other mum did for my DD.

My thinkning is I dont know her as well, and I have lots of goodies and activities at DD's party, (equivilant to about £5+ a child - depending on what they get from the Pinata) I think this is enough to level out the no gift for her friend cos we cant make the party.

If I have'nt confused you all, what do you think? Dont want to get in to a give and receive thing. But unless the other mum had'nt got DD a gift I would never have thought about doing it anyway.

no, don't need to give. Other child is different 'cos close friends.

In general I buy presetns for kids when DS goes to their birthday party, if he gets an invite and can't go then I don't bother with a present.
There would be exceptions to his, i.e. his best friend etc

I would do the same - small present when going to a party, no present if not but would give a present anyway to a close friend

I have a party etiquette question (hope you don't mind me hijacking your thread a bit )- I only have 20 places at dd1's party and lots of them are taken up by cousins and ante-natal friends. One old friend has 2 siblings that dd1 doesn't really play with - is it okay just to invite the friend and not the sibs even though the Mum is a friend of mine? It's just that there's not going to be a lot of room for school friends otherwise and as she has just started school I want some to come.

I think it's fine to just have the friend, Jacanne, but you might just tell the mum that you had very few spaces or you would have liked the siblings, too.

Thanks for the opinions, glad you're all the same as me

Jacanne, we also ahve the same problem for the party. So I have invited say the sibling DD does play with and in our case because I am hiring a hall, told the parents of those I know that they can bring the younger one to play on the stuff I've hired etc but that I wont be doing food (I've got those individual boxes with cup and crisp scoop included so only enough for party goers), but for a few spare crisps and cakes, and they wont get a party bag either.

Most are happy with that as the younger ones in this case wont know the difference.

Agree re present.

Went to a couple of soft play parties with DS last yr and was allowed to bring DD if I payed for her/fed her (otherwise DS couldn't have gone).

My ds is just one so party ettiquette is a mystery to me. We have been invited to our first ever party, which is a first birthday party which is also a joint party for the baby's older sibling. Should I take a present for the older child as well? I also wondered if people usually gave the parents something as well to say thank you for going to all the trouble of organising the party, eg a bottle of wine or chocolates? Thanks for any advice, and apologies for hi-jacking.